News

Archeologists Stumble Upon An 18th Century Dildo Because Even Ancient Bitches Liked To Get Themselves Off

shutterstock_263745539 (1)

Apparently the Polish in the 1700s liked to get freaky. This roughly 8-inch sex toy was unearthed while archaeologists were excavating an 18th century toilet in Gdansk, Poland. Scientists are dating this dick to be around 250 years old, and it’s in surprisingly good condition.


Le’s get to the real question on everyone’s minds: how did a dildo end up in a toilet? The dildo was found at what is believed to be a fencing school, so I can only assume some poor, overworked soul took to the bathroom with their dildo to find some relief from the daily grind of trying to stab people. I guess our ancient masturbator got a little into it and dropped the dildo into the toilet and (wisely) thought it was best to just leave it there. Good call, because I don’t think they had sanitation back then.

If they didn’t have sanitation, they definitely didn’t have the amazing technologies and materials used to make dildos today, so they had to improvise with leather and bristles. I guess you gotta do what you gotta do to get your rocks off.

“It is quite thick and rather large, made of leather and filled with bristles, and has a wooden tip that has preserved in excellent condition,” the country’s Regional Office for the Protection of Monument said in a press release.

Even if it’s believed to be in good condition, I think I’ll stick to my rabbit.

[via Yahoo! News]

Image via Shutterstock

Email this to a friend

Cristina Montemayor

Cristina is a Grandex Writer and Content Manager. She was an intern for over two years before she graduated a semester early to write about college full time, which makes absolutely no sense. She regretfully considers herself a Carrie, but is first and foremost a Rory. She tends to draw strong reactions from people. They are occasionally positive. You can find her in a bar as you're bending down to tie your shoes, drinking Dos XX and drunk crying to Elton John. Email her: cristina@grandex.co (not .com).

3 Comments You must log in to comment, or create an account
Show Comments

For More Photos and Content

Latest podcasts

Download Our App

Take TSM with you. Get

New Stories

Load More