I was at the library today and overheard (ok, I was eavesdropping) a gentleman boasting about his “super chill” new girlfriend. He said, and I quote, “I never take her on dates, she just comes over.” ALERT THE MEDIA…Chivalry really is dead. Newsflash, buddy: no matter how cool she plays it, she’s definitely keeping tabs. He may not be paying for dinners now, but he’ll start to pay in other ways soon. It will start out small, but eventually it will lead to a full-fledged “ARE YOU EMBARRASSED TO BE SEEN WITH ME IN PUBLIC??” And when that bomb drops, it won’t be pretty.
See, the whole “wanna come over and watch a movie” idea can be great, but it does not a relationship make. As much fun as it is to snuggle up under a comforter on a dirty hand-me-down futon that dates back to the early 2000s, we’d like to be taken out on a proper date. The whole “what’s a date” thing is simply unacceptable. We deserve to be treated like the classy, beautiful, take-home-to-mother women that we are. We’re in a generation where a guy spends more dinners with his Netflix than his girlfriend, and something’s not right about that. I mean seriously, when did it become acceptable to eliminate something as classic as dinner and a movie from the dating repertoire?
Although we know you keep SO busy, a lack of time is not an excuse. The average fraternity boy’s weekly schedule consists of binge-drinking, partying, and tailgating Thursday-Saturday, recovering from that binge-drinking, partying, and tailgating by watching football all day Sunday, followed by chapter and procrastinating the return of reality by playing video games with your boys Monday. Tuesday is the “wow, I have so much studying to do; I’ll be at the library for at least 8 hours. I wish I had been productive this weekend,” day. Wednesday is for whatever wasn’t finished on Tuesday, and then just like that, we’re back at the beginning. I know memorizing the answers on the exams in the test bank and having pledges write papers for you is hard…but I also know you’re not at the library every single night. It’s just that…you have time to watch 17 episodes of Lost in four days, so the evidence would suggest you have three hours to set aside for a date night.
Plus, you’ll definitely be rewarded for making the effort. Do it right and we’ll always return the favor post-date (if you know what I mean). Actually our idea of chivalry is so skewed that we’ll probably return the favor post-flowers or post-…well, no, flowers is about all it takes. We’re ladies, remember? Perhaps it will take a little money out of your booze fund…you know, the one your father is paying for, but only good things can come from it. So stop treating your girlfriends like call girls and start to wine and dine them before they make you regret it.