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Arkansas Woman Gets Arrested For Stealing $144 Worth Of Eye Shadow, Takes Best Mugshot Ever

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If you’re looking to spice up your eye shadow game this fall, there are more than enough ways to do so legally–even semi-legally if you count the makeup services at the designer counters in Bloomingdale’s. But there will always be those daredevils (read: idiots) among us who would rather give a big “FUCK YOU” to the legal system and steal their cosmetics instead.

Brandy Allen is one of those people. The 31-year-old was arrested this past weekend after she was caught shoplifting more than $140 worth of eye shadow from Ulta, a discount beauty retailer in Fayetteville, Ark. Witnesses say she grabbed handfuls of makeup without looking at the colors, labels, or prices, and shoved them into her purse.

According to KFSM, Allen was unapologetic when she was confronted by police officers. When she was asked to empty her purse, she did so slowly, trying to make it look like all the eye shadow she hid in there was used by opening and rubbing her fingers all over them. After this surprisingly didn’t convince anyone, she started yelling that no one actually saw her steal anything in the first place, which, also, surprisingly didn’t convince anyone. Allen finished her rant by breaking a red eyeliner pencil in half in front of the police and swearing at the store manager–the same store manager who helped her pick out that red eyeliner pencil. Where are your manners, young lady?

Even though this story pretty much speaks for itself, I do have a few words for Miss Allen. Listen babe, I know they say beauty is pain, but that pain usually comes in the form of stuffing your feet into shoes that are two sizes too small, or giving yourself second degree burns with a flatiron, max–not by getting arrested. In case you do pay the $830 bail and return for another eye shadow heist, I’d go for colors that don’t make it look like a unicorn threw up on your eyelids. Some people can pull off the “Queen Elsa version of the ‘Black Swan’ ” look. You’re not one of them.

[via 5 News Online]

[via Jezebel]

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Drunk but not in love

(@DrunkNOTinLove) is a die-hard Splenda addict who requires a constant supply of caffeine and male attention to make it through the day. After graduating with her degree in Economics, she now focuses her energy on adding a "Home" to her degree title by perfecting the "intelligent drunk," and conning a banker into marrying her one day. Originally from New England, she is a hardcore Boston sports fan, but only when boys are around. Almost all of her calories consumed Thursday - Saturday (and the occasional Tuesday) are from $7 bottles of Yellowtail Moscato, and in no way, shape, or form is she fazed by this. All forms of hate mail and date party inquiries can be sent to drunkbutnotinlove@gmail.com

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