Since I’ve somehow been elected the all-knowing guru of all things srat, (AKA I’m a pretty good, pretty blunt, pretty no-BS advice giver and girls tweet me for advice all the time ANY way), I decided to make an advice column, real advice from a neutral party, and prompted girls to tweet me with the hashtag #askhotpiece or e-mail their questions in to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Hi! So my freshman year of college, I met one of my sorority sisters, and instantly fell in love. I always thought she was a little too intense for me, but it was a nice change to what my personality is. I’m extremely nice, not confrontational at all, and honestly, I just want everyone to like me aka a push over. We signed a lease together; the two of us, her little, her boyfriend, and our other sister. It was after this, I slowly started to realize that the intensity I first noticed from her was actually just pure bitchiness. I mean, she is the definition of a bitch. But like I said, lease signed, I’m screwed. Everyone tried telling me, but I just can’t help but to see the good in everyone! So, now we’ve moved into our gorgeous new house and surprise! Everyone was right. She’s awful. She had a little altercation with my little last year (who is my entire world) and gets super pissy whenever my little or my best friend come over. It’s to the point that I’m staying with my boyfriend most of the time or locked in my bedroom. How the hell do I deal with the anti-Christ??
From what you’re telling me, it really sounds like there isn’t something she actually did wrong per se, and living with this girl’s little and her boyfriend puts you in an awkward situation, as “the bad guy.” You need to realize that secluding yourself isn’t alleviating the situation, only making it worse with the whole Look, she’s so awkward, she just locks herself up in her room. If she’s not going to make an effort, neither am I, which is only going to be even more emphasized because it seems like she has some solid supporters in the house. Conflict of personalities are so super common when you’re living with someone. Sometimes, a great friend is a really horrible roommate. You definitely need to have a discussion with her and see if there is something on her mind and disuss with her the things that are on yours. You have a long year ahead of you otherwise, and it’s going to cause conflicts with your other roomies which is a HORRIBLE feeling. If the problem persists, distancing yourself may be the only option, but try and spend time with your friends too, not just your boyfriend so that you don’t become that girl who’s like always with the bf. Try not to talk shit to sisters you aren’t that close with, it’s bad for PR and you never know what will get back to her and make the situation worse, but venting to your boyfriend, mom, big or little is totally fine.
I am in a bit of a pickle. I dated a guy when I was 14 for over two years. We were obsessed with each other, totally smitten and in love. The real deal, nothing I have ever felt with anyone else. Not puppy love. So, like an idiot, I broke up with him thinking I needed space, but never fell out of love with him. Nearly four years later, we are both at the same college and he has been dating a new girl for a couple years now. I shattered his heart when we broke up, and he’s hated me ever since.
Since we never got closure, I decided to bug the shit out of him until he agreed to meet with me. Sure enough, we met last week for coffee, and ended up not only going to dinner afterwards but having incredible sex and I slept over. Mind you.. He has this other girl. We decided to give it some time, but only a week later we both realized that we need to change something. We both knew we never fell out of love. So we decided to be together again. He broke up with his girl, and we have our first official date on Thursday.
Am I making a huge mistake? Did I just become a total bitch and destroy the relationship that he had, his first ever after the years it took him to get over me? Or did I follow my heart and do the right thing?
I don’t want to tell you, you’re not actually in love with your boy, because no one can actually know that but you…but what I do want to tell you is to really evaluate the situation. What made you just suddenly decide to get closure is the real question. Because during four years of him begging to get back with you, you weren’t interested. It sounds like you were going on fine and not missing him, maybe even pitying him before he got over you. It sounds like it’s totally possible thaaaat you realized he was over you, with a girl who obviously sucks because anyone who isn’t you probably sucks, and decided that’s like…not ok. And maybe “bugged the shit out of him” not really for closure, but to prove to yourself that you could still get him. But hot piece! Now that we’re hanging out it’s totally great and I totally love him! Well, yeah. Of course you feel that way. If you were once in a two year relationship in love, it’s natural that all those feelings come rushing back, but the nostalgia, mixed with the excitement, mixed with the wanting-what-you-can’t-have-ness of it all can really intensify a feeling that maybe isn’t a perfect portrayal of what’s really going on in your head and in your heart.
I’m not saying that’s necessarily the case, but you need to really think about it, evaluate the situation, and determine if your feelings are true or if they’re being a little fabricated from all the other factors. If it’s the real thing, then who is she to stand in the way of true love? She’s just a minor detour in your love story and you needn’t worry.
I graduated from school 2 years ago, yet people still find me as the “frat” guy, so for the past 2 years I haven’t been able to be in a real relationship do to my “reputation” what do you think I should do?
It’s really not that hard to get a girlfriend if you want one. Girls aren’t like boys. Most of them are aching to be swooped off their feet by Mr. Right, and since he’s hard to find Mr. Mediocre tends to be plenty. If girls really aren’t taking you seriously it’s not because of your reputation. Actions speak louder than words. They think you’re a frat boy because you’re acting like one. I’m not saying like start being all like…I don’t know…gay and boring, but if you think it’s like “soooo cool to get soooooo wasted, bro! Tits and shit.” That comes across. Reactions are just a response to actions, so if you want to be taken more seriously, act more seriously.
My boyfriend goes to a different school than me. About 7 hours away. He won’t make it known that we’re together, but he says we are. He still has “single” on his Facebook. Should I be concerned?
Girlfriend….get the hell out. I know like ohhh, it’s just Facebook, who cares but like…if it matters to you, it matters to your relationship. A guy who says “why do I need to put it on Facebook to prove it to you” is like the guy who says “why do we need to get married to prove I’m committed to you.” Seven hours is super long distance, and if he can’t even virtually commit to you, what makes you think he’s committing to you in real life? He’s telling the world he’s single, and I’d bet he’s telling random sloots the same thing. If you’re going to be fully committed to someone, you deserve the same respect.
I dated a guy for 10 months and after we broke up we were in the friend zone but he still told me he loved me and I love him so so much.. But today he told me that I was a bitch and he never wanted to talk to me again and it was because “I treated him like he was my boyfriend” I feel so stupid I thought he loved me…
Ugh, feeling like someone pulled a fast one on you is the WORST feeling. It’s literally my biggest fear, and not to be a debbie downer, but it sounds like this guy is going to be the one who fucks you a little bit mentally. He may have really loved you, but it almost doesn’t matter at this point. You’re not stupid, and I’m sure your behavior was reciprocal. You can’t “act like he’s your boyfriend” unless he’s acting like he’s your boyfriend too. Ugh, guys are such assholes I’m literally getting mad at him right now. Honestly, don’t dwell on what you did or what he did in the past. NOW is what matters, and NOW he just treated you like shit and told you he wants nothing to do with you. He totally disrespected you and your entire relationship. If I were you, I’d cut my losses, and do what I could to forget about him. Maybe destroy his car or make out with his big. Kidding, don’t do those things…but don’t chase after someone who told you straight up he’s not interested, and don’t feel stupid. You believed what he told you (over and over for ten months, I might add) that’s not your fault. He’s just a jerk. Don’t get overly jaded, but use this experience to make sure in the future a guy is proving to you, without a shadow of a doubt, that he means what he’s saying.
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