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Here’s An Audiobook Vibrator That Will Basically Make Your Boyfriend Pointless

girl sitting in bed listening to headphones

There’s one reason and one reason only that most of us read erotic novels — to better enhance our reading speed and comprehension. And for all of the rest of the people out there who aren’t nerds (and most likely didn’t get hella AR points in elementary school), they read erotic fiction to get off. Masturbate. Orgasm.

The thing is, getting off to a book is actually sort of hard. You have to be able to hold the book in one hand and use the other hand to steady your tool of choice. Then you need to be discrete and somehow keep reading even though your eyes are rolling in the back of your head. Because yes, even getting off alone is hard for girls. Well, getting off in general is hard for girls but I digress.

Anyway, someone finally decided to help us and our vaginas out. Enter the Vibease — a smart vibrator that will make all of our wet, erotic dreams about John Krasinski come true. What? Just me?

So while the video is just about the cheesiest thing ever created, the idea is pretty genius. After listening to a few clips of these books awkwardly at work (no, I wasn’t using the vibrator. I’m not a psycho), I have to say, they know what they’re doing. The tones of voice and the sound effects are pretty amazing. Plus, that’s not all this bad boy can do. It can sync to the app, which will allow you or your sexting partner to control the vibrations. And it’s discrete, so you can take it anywhere. You literally never have to have a man or a physical book again.

So long, penises. So long, heavy books that embarrassingly make my arms tired when I try to read them in bed. For the price of $119-ish you can have your orgasm and be lazy too.

[via Cosmopolitan]

Image via Youtube

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Rachel Varina

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.

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