Evan Bass is decidedly the dweebiest Bachelorette contestant of all time. It’s hard to believe that JoJo kissed him, let alone the fact that he has children. At least three times his ex-wife allowed him inside of her, and that is three times too many. The sight of his goatee and receding swoopy hairline makes my nipples go inverted. He went on the show trying to play the sweet, wholesome, innocent, victim character, but as it turns out, that may be all an act. A statement made by his alleged ex-wife was published on Reddit, and you’ll never guess who found it. Our good friend, Chad.
— Chad Johnson (@realchadjohnson) August 11, 2016
This is what the statement says:
As most of you have now noticed yes my ex husband is on the bachelorette. I’ve been overwhelmed with messages asking how I feel about this. I’ll make this statement about it- Evan does his own thing, always has. I’ve raised my boys alone since they were born because he’s been on a decade pursuit of wealth. He’s not a “single dad”, he’s a dead beat dad. He’s interested in one thing- money and fame. So kudos to him- he’s getting what he wants. We are all very excited for him. Don’t believe anything you see about him being a father. He’s not. He’s a sperm donor. Hopefully he’ll keep a sense of self respect during the show because as we all know the bachelorette is a respectable tv show. What’s important is that I’m happy and my boys are happy, apart from that I don’t give a damn.
“He’s a sperm donor.” The is easily the deepest cut you could give just short of “the kids aren’t yours.” It’s hard to tell whether this woman scorned would take to Reddit of all places, so it could be fake. But, on the other hand, what dad goes on Bachelor In Paradise and tries to hook up with honeys instead of being with his kids. It would make sense in search of fame that he went from pastor to a job that is a reality show gold mine, erectile dysfunction specialist. They could call it 9021Bone. Someone better be writing this down, it’s genius.
Chad loves to stir the pot so much that maybe even he wrote it, but that seems a little extreme. Even for Chad..
Image via Youtube