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Ballsiest Bride Ever Leaves Husband At The Alter Because He’s Bad At Math

Dumb groom

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
If you don’t know math,
I can’t marry you.

I’m not one to date idiots. I like my men like I like…well, myself. Smart, funny, and down to eat pizza as opposed to like, go running or some shit. If a guy’s values and eating habits don’t align with mine, more likely than not I’ll ignore his texts and call the whole “relationship” off. And I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in this. Evidence? An Indian bride recently called off her entire wedding because she found out her groom was dumb.

According to Fox News, a bride recently walked down the aisle and gazed into the eyes of her (ex) fiancé. Now normally, this moment is reserved for making cute faces at each other, promising “vows” that are actually just a whole bunch of weird inside jokes (“I promise to not get mad when you throw garlic in my food” LOL HA HA HA what?), and sobbing. This bride, however, had a different idea.

She decided to ask him a simple math problem.

“How much is 15 plus six?”

Yeah. Easy. Except for the fact that this guy didn’t have an iPhone calculator, didn’t have an education, and didn’t have any idea what the correct answer was. Now our bride was smart. She knew she was going to be marrying a complete stranger, as do most women in India. But she wanted to know that her man could at least balance a checkbook or like, budget in expensive gifts. Unfortunately, his answer ruined the potential “happily ever after.”

“17.”

Yikes. I mean. Maybe you had 15 cupcakes, and then decided to buy six more, making it 21. But then whoops, they looked good. So you ate one. But it was chocolate and you didn’t realize that there were red velvet cupcakes too, so you ate another. And fuck. It was good, so just one more. And then you kept one for yourself because you know what’s up, making the total about 17. So I mean, he was kind of right.

But, our boss-ass bride wasn’t having it. She literally said “no thanks,” turned around, and peaced the fuck out. Apparently, the groom’s family had lied about how intelligent their son was. According to Fox News the bride’s father said, “The groom’s family kept us in the dark about his poor education. Even a first grader can answer this.”

Once she left, the groom’s family tried to convince the bride to reconsider, but she was not about it. She was literally at the wedding, ready to say “I do,” when she realized that it wasn’t right. So she left. She got the hell out. She said no to a lifetime of unhappiness and having to figure out the tip on a bill, and said yes to having a better, smarter, life. And that, ladies, is how it’s done.

[via Fox News]

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Rachel Varina

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.

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