There are two really great things in life. Food and sex. Sure, sure. There are a few more good things too. Like love. And corgi puppies. And that moment when you finally get to pee after holding it for a really long time and you pretty much want to die because it feels so freaking good.
But for the most part, sex and food are pretty much our favorite things. But what if we could only pick one? Which would we choose? And just as importantly, which would our boyfriends choose?
Some brains over at the University College London, wanted to see just that. And it turns out, men and women tend to want different things. Because we hadn’t already realized just how different we all are.
To figure this out, the University took some worms (yes worms) and did some science-y shit to them. It involved salt and mating and relocating. In short, they trained the worms to realize that salt means they would starve. So the worms would crawl (slither?) away from the sodium. Obviously. BUT when there was a sexy worm to mate with just hanging around the salt? You better believe those boy worms tried to get some, whether it meant they would starve or not.
Hilariously, and not at all shockingly, the female worms (okay hermaphrodites but honestly, no one cares) cared more about getting some food than getting some dick. So scientist are starting to think that guys would pick sex over food, whereas us lady-folk would pick food over sex.
Which is obviously 100 percent true. I mean, after a drunken night all we want to do is curl in up in bed with some onion rings. Not some sweaty guy who’s poking us with his meat stick.
To further prove my point, here’s a game. Think to yourself if you would choose sex over any of these foods.
• Cheese fries.
• Boneless buffalo wings with lots and lots of ranch.
• Pizza. Literally any kind of pizza.
• Nachos. And queso. And guac.
• Cake. Chocolate cake. Cheese cake. Even carrot cake.
So which would you choose: sex or one of those delicious foods? Yeah. That’s what I thought.
So what exactly does this mean? That all we want in life is to marry some doughnuts? That our boyfriends will never forget the times they had sex with their exes? That there’s no such thing as love unless it comes with a side of ranch? Basically, it means that guys might actually have some cells in their brains that make them prioritize sex over, well, living. Hopefully this explains why we’ll all die alone and spend every night in front of the TV with a bottle of wine and some pizza rolls. Ah well. Fries over guys, ladies. Fries over guys..
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