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Breaking Down Mandatory Greek Events Throughout The Year

Mandatory

Welcome to Greek life, everyone! As you know, this is the best decision of your life, and you’re going to meet your best friends, and have so much more fun than everyone else, and yada, yada, yada. But we have some rules. Some requirements. Some boring events, (that lowkey end up being kind of fun for gossiping purposes), that exist to make you a better person. They’re the only (mostly) dry events, and no one ever gets excited about them, but they exist nonetheless.

Alumni BBQ
Alumni are invited to come back to campus for a BBQ on the quad. Afterward, all alum are invited to go back to the chapter houses, get smashed, and share stories of all of the stuff they did then which was way worse than the stuff you do now. They got away with because there was no internet or social media, and they actually make you yearn for the days with less technology.

Meet The Greeks
Come stand on the campus quad and presumably give GDIs the opportunity to mix with the Greeks, but really just talk amongst yourselves since they are just going to take the free bottle of water and screw.

Greeks Faculty Dessert Party
That whole wear-your-letters-to-class/get good GPAs thing isn’t working, so maybe if we stuff them full of chocolate eclairs, we can get the professors to stop bad-mouthing us at faculty senate meetings.

Progressive Dinner
Move from chapter house to chapter house, eating a different course of every meal at every location. Wine will be provided via Camelbaks during the walk between locations.

Anti-Hazing/Alcohol Awareness Speaker
Listen, it’s freaking mandatory, ok? Just be there.

“Pizza with the Po-Po” Dinner
Let’s bribe the police into liking us build a relationship with the local and campus police over some pepperoni pies!

Dodgeball Tournament
You know that guy you slept with three times last semester until he started ignoring your texts? Here’s your opportunity to throw something at him without looking like a complete pyscho! Who cares if he’s actually on your team!

Field Day Games
Play some old school outdoor games – Balloon Toss, Dizzy Bat, Tug of War, Capture The Flag – while we try and show the rest of the campus how innocent and fun-loving we are!

Movie Night – “Inside Out”
Seriously, your liver needs a night off. Come join us for a movie that literally cannot offend anyone…we think.

Blood Drive
Usually planned mid-week in hopes you didn’t go out last night and are sober/clean enough to give blood today. Please remember to take a few days off from your Adderall habit in preparation for the blood drive.

Awards Banquet
Come out and celebrate the brown-nosing chapters who did the best work this year! You aren’t going to win anything, but there is a kick-ass spaghetti dinner.

Campus Clean-Up
Yes, we know 11am is early for a Saturday and that you are nursing a vicious hangover from last night, but what says “we care about the community!” more than picking up trash while trying not to puke into your garbage bag?

Greek Sing For Charity
Ready to show off your mad dance and singing skills that you’ve been “practicing” all week? But please, no songs/dances/costumes that could potentially offend anyone!

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2NOTBrokeGirls

Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, and documenting her love of all things cheese related. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.

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