Dog Lovers Rejoice: Cat Owners Are Almost Three Times More Likely To Cheat


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Nice Move


I’m a dog person through and through. I’ve been known to visit dog parks alone just to get the chance to pet/fall in love with someone else’s pup, which would be an incredibly illegal move if I tried to do the same at an actual human playground. But I wouldn’t, because dogs are better than people, and if you disagree then you can fuck all the way off.

A study conducted by Illicit Encounters has found that cat owners made up about 25 percent of the 700 participants who had a track record of cheating. Only ten percent of the participants had a dog, making dog owners the most faithful subset in the study. Spokesperson Christian Grant accredits this to dogs inspiring a number of positive traits in their human counterparts:

“There has already been a plethora of scientific studies that claim that owning a dog, or dogs, makes you happier and healthier, and now you can add loyalty to that list.

I totally support these findings, not just because I detest cats, but because dogs have the unfailing ability to be loyal 100 percent of the time. Cats don’t make a lot of sense to me—if someone were to break into your house, a cat would just stick around to watch him steal all your shit while occasionally taking a break to lick its own asshole. A dog, on the other hand, would go all code red and wreak havoc on his ass, or at least make enough noise to let you know something is up. It’s a clear choice who the truly loyal pet is, and this study just further supports the fact that dogs are and always will be superior to cats.

[via Elite Daily]

This featured image is a stock photo from our database. The puppy photographed is not in any way associated with the story.

Lucky Jo is much less medicated than her mother and sister, and she tends to think that’s a good thing. She's the newest full-time addition to the Grandex office, which is probably why they gave her the shittiest desk. In her free time she enjoys scaring small children, judging her peers, and condescendingly talking to GDIs at Starbucks. Follow her on twitter for cat memes and complaints. Email her at

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