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Dog Lovers Rejoice: Cat Owners Are Almost Three Times More Likely To Cheat

DogOwnersAreLessLikelyToCheat

I’m a dog person through and through. I’ve been known to visit dog parks alone just to get the chance to pet/fall in love with someone else’s pup, which would be an incredibly illegal move if I tried to do the same at an actual human playground. But I wouldn’t, because dogs are better than people, and if you disagree then you can fuck all the way off.

A study conducted by Illicit Encounters has found that cat owners made up about 25 percent of the 700 participants who had a track record of cheating. Only ten percent of the participants had a dog, making dog owners the most faithful subset in the study. Spokesperson Christian Grant accredits this to dogs inspiring a number of positive traits in their human counterparts:

“There has already been a plethora of scientific studies that claim that owning a dog, or dogs, makes you happier and healthier, and now you can add loyalty to that list.

I totally support these findings, not just because I detest cats, but because dogs have the unfailing ability to be loyal 100 percent of the time. Cats don’t make a lot of sense to me—if someone were to break into your house, a cat would just stick around to watch him steal all your shit while occasionally taking a break to lick its own asshole. A dog, on the other hand, would go all code red and wreak havoc on his ass, or at least make enough noise to let you know something is up. It’s a clear choice who the truly loyal pet is, and this study just further supports the fact that dogs are and always will be superior to cats.

[via Elite Daily]

This featured image is a stock photo from our database. The puppy photographed is not in any way associated with the story.

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Lucky Jo

Lucky Jo is a former and current TSM writer who likes her men how she likes her coffee: way too hot and unforgivably bitter. She graduated from the University of Missouri in 2016, proving that C's do in fact get degrees. She now spends her days working for a social media marketing agency, hiking with her dachshund, and trying to bring back the scrunchie. Hate mail and goat memes can be sent to lucyjmulvihill@gmail.com.

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