Have fun cooking and cleaning your whole life southern sorostitute. Where we’re from we have maids to do that. We spend our days with our personal trainers and spending our rich husband’s money. TSM.
Southern girls get David Yurman and Tory Burch, Northern girls get Cartier and Chanel. TSM.
5-9, 105 pounds, D cup, natural blonde. Just something else Mommy and Daddy gave me, good genes. TSM.
I don’t know how to pump gas. TSM.
If you’re not mentioned in Luke Bryan’s “Sorority Girls” then you’re not a real sorority. TSM.
Dubstep? Ewwwwww. TSM.
My sorority was founded before “sorority” was even a word. TSM.
If you’re shorter than me, don’t talk to me. TSM.
I don’t dye my hair or starve myself to stay thin. I don’ t look down upon lower tier sororities. I’m not getting my MRS degree but an MBA instead. I can make a fantastic sandwich, award winning cupcakes and unbutton an Oxford and khakis with one hand. TSM.
Watching Toddlers and Tiaras every week to prepare myself to be a stay at home Mom with a beautiful pageant princess. TSM.
Having to secretly smoke my cigarettes so my sisters won’t judge me. TSM.
It’s too big. TSM.
Dear Weightloss Commercial Girl, going from size 15 to 4 is not an accomplishment. 4=fat. TSM.
I’m not worried about the sophomore slump, since the only thing I have close to love handles are the belt loops on my size 0 jeans. TSM.
My degree is not a back-up-plan. It’s a passion. I went to college to learn how to save lives, not bake pies. I already knew how to do that. TSM.
My bra size is 32DDD. Can you guess what house I’m in? (Oh yea, and they’re real.) TSM.
No. I am not concerned about my future. I am a 34D and bake cookies like you wouldn’t believe. TSM.
Going to the gym to actually sweat, and going to school to actually get an education. TSM.
I’m not a slampiece, I’m a take-home-to-meet-the-fam-piece. TSM.
Avoiding skin cancer by staying white, and looking damn good doing it. TSM.