Chronic Overachiever Wonders How The Chapter Will Survive Without Her


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chronic overachiever worried how the chapter will survive without her

Erin Short, local college student and member of Pi Sigma Lambda, has spent her whole life pushing herself to the limit. Within seconds of meeting her, she informed us of her triple major and position on her sorority’s executive board that she is a legacy for.

“I also volunteer at the old folks’ home, as well as crochet blankets for homeless orangutans. And that’s just on Tuesdays!” added Erin, the only person who still uses the word “folks.”

To get an idea of what Erin’s role in the chapter is, we asked the president, Serena, what her duties entail:

“Between you and me, we just give her shit that we don’t want to do. She takes attendance at events, hands out shirts, and we keep her behind the scenes during recruitment. Her false sense of authority is enough to keep her off of exec’s back so we can actually get stuff done. She doesn’t even have a real position. We made it up. Her mom is one of the biggest donors, so we kind of had to let her in.”

Erin has been reluctantly rewarded Sister of the Week 17 times for things such as cleaning up entire events before they were even over, doing everyone else’s community service hours for them, and going to a fraternity house and helping them clean up after a social. Along with this accolade, Erin has joined 3 service societies, and earned her black belt just for the fuck of it.

“I was all done learning my seventh language, and I had some time to kill, so I felt karate was the next obvious step.”

As the end of her college career quickly approaches, Erin is starting to realize the mortality of her reign.

“Being a part of PSL and doing everything I can to better the community while still getting a 4.0 in my triple major and additional minor, I forgot to mention I have a minor too, has been all that I’ve known for the last two years. Oh yeah, I’m also graduating a year early.”

Erin fears that after she leaves the chapter and school, they won’t be able to run smoothly without her.

“We’ll be fine,” Serena assured us. “Maybe even better off.”

Regardless, Erin is not sure what she wants to do after graduation, but she does know what she wants to do with her remainder of her time in college.

“After I graduate, I just want to make a small difference on the entire solar system. I have no idea what it will be yet. But while the chapter still has me, I want to keep it running as smoothly as I can. I’m going to set a good example for the other seniors that just because we are the oldest, doesn’t mean the younger girls are the ones who have to do everything. I just want to make sure that PSL thrives on campus.”

“No seriously, we’ll be fine,” Serena said.

A born and raised Jersey girl, she can always be found covered in sand and pizza sauce. Her personal brand is "that girl." She prefers wine in bottles because she thinks outside of the box. Send fan mail to or by smoke signal.

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