Colleges Are Now Offering Ball Pits For Students Who Need “Emotional Safety”


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Nice Move


I can’t wait for the day when Universities across the country get together and decide to squash all this SJW bullshit. Sorry, not sorry. College is a place for learning and discussing and facing all sorts of big scary ideas that don’t fall in line with your own idea of how the world should operate. People who aren’t prepared for such a dangerous trip should just retreat to their parents’ basements and spend their days playing video games and eating PB&Js with the crust cut off.

In the newest development, colleges across the nation are utilizing ball pits to help students discover an “emotional safe space” in which they can express themselves and make friends. More than half a dozen campuses have caved to the idea in the past few months, and some of these even come with other childlike activities like coloring books to de-stress.

Okay. Not sure how do attack this. On one hand, ball pits are a great fucking time. Some of my fondest childhood memories involve near-death experiences spent in a pit of weightless, colorful balls that encompassed my entire body and made me fear my eminent death. On the other hand, isn’t this going a little too far? Have we seriously retreated from mature higher education to playing with toys meant for children while talking about our feelings?

I’m a serious journalist, you guys. Which is why I did a quick Google search on the average age limit for ball pits. I found a few different results, but the average age suggestion for appropriate use is between 3-9 years old. This means that colleges are now encouraging a lifestyle meant for a 50-pound, 4-foot-tall human. Are you a 50-pound, 4-foot-tall human? Nay. You are not.

I don’t want to be a buzzkill here, but the fact that play pens are now a serious tool to help students make friends honestly makes my head hurt. Back in my day, if you wanted to make friends, you would go out and get shitfaced like a normal person. Or you would just start a fucking conversation, because hello, did you know we’re not five years old? I’m all for emotional healing and mental health, but is it really necessary for us to retreat to kindergarten to get there?

Whatever works, I guess. I’m just having a hard time processing how a bunch of twenty-year-olds are going to make major social strides while sitting in a ball pit. But hey, I’ll try anything once.

[via The College Fix]

Image via Shutterstock

Lucky Jo is much less medicated than her mother and sister, and she tends to think that’s a good thing. She's the newest full-time addition to the Grandex office, which is probably why they gave her the shittiest desk. In her free time she enjoys scaring small children, judging her peers, and condescendingly talking to GDIs at Starbucks. Follow her on twitter for cat memes and complaints. Email her at

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