There’s nothing worse than painting a formal cooler. I know, I know. Some girls love doing it. Either they’re liars or they’re just better people than me. Whichever one, I hate them (Jk jk, be cool). But seriously, whether you love doing it, or would rather actually die, we can all admit — painting a cooler is hard effing work. The sanding. The resanding. The sanding ONE MORE TIME. The priming. The sketching. The painting. The crying because you painted it wrong. The wine (God, so much wine). The canceled plans to finish this piece of art and then handing it over to some drunk frat guy who doesn’t appreciate it nearly enough.
The only thing worse than losing years off of your life for a piece of plastic is doing it all, only to be canceled on last minute.
It’s the nightmare, but for one Ohio State student, it was her reality (*insert CSI music here*). Jasmine Wright, a sophomore at OSU, was told mere days before a fraternity formal that she was no longer going to be attending. Why? It turns out that she was invited last minute because the guy’s date had to bail on him (second choice? Thanks a lot). But she was happy to step up and took to the Facebook group, The Cooler Connection to get some last minute help on making a cooler. Which she completed. IN THREE DAYS.
So after that, you’d think this girl would get a medal or an engagement ring or like, at least oral. Instead? She gets this text message.
First of all, what the actual fuck? (Second of all, lol at his name). Now in his defense, he had a family emergency so like, it’s acceptable that he couldn’t go. It sucks, but he has an out in this case. But despite that fact that he’s excused, we still have a girl with a formal cooler, but without a date to formal. So what does our leading lady do?
A) Say “it’s cool” and go about her life like nothing happened.
B) Be slightly pissed, resand the cooler and repaint it for herself, drink.
C) Blow up the internet and make it her mission to attend the TKE formal. At. All. Costs.
Yeah. She goes with option “C”. Duh.
I posted [the screenshot] on Cooler Connection as a final farewell to the ladies for all the help the group gave me during making it over just 3 days, and maybe for a little love. My “when he flakes” post ended up BLOWING UP. It wasn’t so much the fact that my date had flaked…but the way the plot unfolded.
Because he said “lol” to my cooler, I asked him for his friend Anthony’s number, semi in spite, because this damn TKE cooler was going to the formal. I also reached out to a Tinder match who had mentioned needing a date. We now had 2 new potential dates. Who would get the ‘final cooler?’ The whole thing somehow turned into a big “Bachelorette” theme.
If anything in my life ever casually turns into a theme, I can die happy. She literally turned getting canceled on last minute, thanks to George being a good guy and helping out his family (ugh, annoying. I know), into her own personal “Bachelorette” series. In the group, girls were searching high and low to find available TKEs to take her. It got wild. There was voting. There were CSI level investigations happening. She contacted guys. She put herself out there. And she made her life a live-action reality television show, which girls were spending hours catching up on and staying up late into the night to know what was happening. And ever the knowledgeable star, she created a Google Doc to keep everyone up to date with the votes, what the guys were saying, and information about them. Yes, the organization and social media stalking put literally all of us to shame.
And of course, like any good reality show, she has a voting system.
Not only has she received close to 2,000 likes on Facebook, over 700 comments, but she’s been offered flights to go to other formals, potential boyfriends, caused a Facebook group of 84,000 girls to come together, and even has George rooting for her to make it to the event. You know. His event. In an effort to ensure her position, she tweeted out a sweetheart-like ad in hopes of finding a date, only to be retweeted by 100+ people, including the TKE chapter at the school.
— Jasmine Ann Wright (@Jasmineannnnn) April 7, 2016
What started out as a joke has turned into a viral, real-life Greek “Bachelorette” scenario. At this point, I sort of want to become this girl because her life is the actual coolest. Will she land a spot on the coveted formal (and btw, come on TKE, just let her come. She’s totally earned it)? What boy will accept the cooler? And finally, is there still something between her and George? Only time will tell and I for one, can not wait to find out. Brb, canceling my subscription to Netflix and following this thread forever..
Images via Jasmine Ann Wright