Cowboys, Astronauts,and Fratstars

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Nice Move

After swapping weekend triumphs with some of my favorite girls, I have come to conclude that most guys suffer from the same illness. Ladies I’m going to throw this out there with strong confidence in the statistics…90% of the younger male population is bored.

Before I explain why, let me first state that my initial thoughts on the reasoning for this habitual phenomenon, was a general lack of feeling among this puzzling race. Of course, then I snapped out of this crazy little idea and stumbled upon the realization that most girls do not seem privy to: MEN ARE EASY. They do not overthink, they do not plan, they do not scheme, and they do not lie (for the most part). Side note: the “men” that I am speaking of ideally are single males. When forced into a relationship most men will act out of character, becoming possessive, sleazy savvy, and begin to lie about everything right down to what their favorite fucking color is.

Alright, so on to the problem. Let’s face it girls – you meet a guy for the first time and he is eh, dare I say charming. Stopping right there, this story can go 1 of 3 ways. 1. You exchange numbers, and fall deeply in love. (It should be known this possibility is highly unlikely, and the only purpose its mention serves is to make a point.) 2. You head on home, need I say more…never speak again. 3. You are lucky enough to hang out of few times, maybe a movie, but most likely just a few cuddle seshes, and eventually you arrive at the same outcome…you do a thing, and then never speak again.

So why, then, do they try so hard to win us over, and try so little to show some respect. Well, here is my theory…and it’s right. Men do not care. Not in the assumed lack of compassion manner, they just honestly do not put as much worthless time and effort as we do into such situations. They are bored. We are entertaining, but only for so long. Regardless of what happens, or when it happens. If you’re not roping a guy into a relationship then you’re getting dropped, usually without so much as a word. The man will simply stop texting, and stop acknowledging your presence in any situation. You will feel hurt, bitch to your friends, realize he’s not so easy on the eyes, and move on.

If you’ve experienced this…and you have, you are not alone, and it’s not your fault. Like I said, men are easy and straightforward. It should never be hard to figure out what they are thinking, or why they are behaving as they are. If it ever becomes difficult to understand a guy, he is most likely homosexual. If a guy would like to text you – he will. If he wants to see you – he will. If not, don’t wait, and don’t fret. It doesn’t matter how cute and classy, or how sexy and sassy you are. You can put on that black dress and strut around in front of them all night long, and it won’t change a thing. They are just looking for the next girl to mess up their bed. It relates well to the behavior of a small child: short attention span. One minute they want to be an astronaut and the next a cowboy. That’s life. Don’t get too hung up on any guy, unless his Sperry’s are supes nice.

Do however, have a little faith that eventually the right one will get hung up on you (just don’t expect it in college.) My only piece of advice to prolong the disappearing act that they have perfected so well: You will only receive the respect that you give yourself. It’s not going to save your heart, but it will help.

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Nice Move

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  1. 5
    futureleader14

    Honestly, not all fratstars are like this. It’s just that the ones you ladies end up choosing are too often not looking for the same things you are. If you are beautiful enough to be in a sorority, barring some exceptions, you can have any guy you want, so I put at least as much blame on you ladies for choosing the same types of guys time and time again.

    ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 2 years ago
  2. 4
    grandfrat

    “If it ever becomes difficult to understand a guy, he is most likely homosexual. If a guy would like to text you – he will. If he wants to see you – he will. If not, don’t wait, and don’t fret.”

    If nothing else, at least this was spot on. If we want to see you, we will… stop texting every hour on the hour just to get our attention. It’s actually annoying and not cute. Yes it’s a cool story bro, no I didn’t just get dumped, etc. etc..

    ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 2 years ago
  3. 3
    RagnarDanneskjold

    Writes column complaining about (mostly) beta male behavior, then writes a column complaining about (mostly) alpha male behavior.

    While you’re trying to figure out what it is you want, could you please make me some cupcakes? I like chocolate.

    ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 2 years ago

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