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Data Says Everyone Would Rather Have A Threesome With Chrissy Teigen Than With Taylor Swift

Chrissy

Chrissy fucking Teigen. What is it about her? You want to hate her because, you know, she’s perfect, but you can’t because she’s so damn cool. Sure, she’s got a perfect body, but it’s her sense of humor and IDGAF attitude that makes her hot. Like, really hot. Like, “we’d all consider playing a few rounds on the other team if it was with her” hot.

Still, when we have the daily “which celebrity would you hook up with” conversation (because yes, this is a daily conversation. Much like the “which celebrity would you marry” and the “which celebrity would you let your boyfriend cheat on you with” conversations) we usually don’t pick Chrissy. Not because she’s not slammin’ but because, you know, she has a vagina. And for the straight ladies, we tend to gravitate towards that “D.”

BUT, then a different question was asked: Which celebrity couple would you want to invite you into a threesome?

It was a close one, that’s for sure. Who it was hosted by, I don’t know and I don’t care. What I care about is the fact that Chrissy won, she posted the results on Instagram, and my woman crush for her got a little more intense.


What an honor. Thank you to our fans and future sex partners – we couldn't do it without you.

A photo posted by chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) on

If the results aren’t enough to convince you, than her Instagram caption should do it. Still, I feel like the competition wasn’t even fair. I mean, Tay and Calvin? No thanks. Personally I’d rather not be intertwined by her six foot long legs and have a song be released about the romp. As for the royal couple? Sex with them would be like watching unsexy paint dry. Really expensive, fancy, unsexy paint. And if hooking up with a couple isn’t awkward enough, hooking up with a separated couple sounds like actual hell. Besides, if Chrissy’s willing to feed me the cheesy bread from her cookbook while John croons some songs in my ear, I am 100 percent down. Your move, guys. Your move.

Which Celebrity Couple Would You Want To Invite You Into A Threesome

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Image via Rena Schild / Shutterstock.com

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Rachel Varina

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.

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