Do you dream of being a princess? Of course you do, you’re in a sorority. That was a rhetorical question. I was obviously disappointed when the prince tied the knot, because it meant another one bit the dust. I was excited to learn he birthed a male heir, but I’m not big on the idea of being a cougar. However, I hear the ginger prince is still available for marriage, which is perfect because I was born to be a princess.
Everyone knows the second best type of princess is the Disney kind, and it’s looking like my dream of becoming one is about to become a reality. Harrods is auctioning off designer Disney dresses. I can’t think of a more perfect ensemble for a Disney mixer. A stunning, unique gown would have probably been a better bet than my Minnie Mouse costume. It probably would have gotten messy, though. Boys, I advise you against dressing as the 101 dalmations in the future. My house learned the hard way that face paint rubs off after a particularly intense DFMO.
Luckily, now sorority girls can become the real life princesses we’ve always dreamed of once we purchase one of these gorgeous gowns at auction. Oscar de la Renta dreamed up the Snow White gown, Cavalli created Pocahontas, which makes perfect sense. He’s a little on the slutty side and my girl Poco is by far the hottest princess. Missoni created Mulan, and it’s definitely not the Target version.
If you’re a West Coast sorority girl, you can visit these gowns at Disney’s D23 Expo in Los Angeles. They’re exceptected to rake in beaucoup bucks for charity when they’re sold in November, so mark your planner now. Just to be safe, start rehearsing your phone call to Daddy so you can make it sound totally believable when you explain that you’re so sorry for using his credit card, but it was totally an emergency. While Disney wedding dresses already exist, that day could be eons away. Halloween, however, is fast approaching. The only question is, which princess will you choose to be?
What sorority girl wouldn’t want to own a gorgeous, one-of-a-kind, designer creation? The only drawback I can see is that to justify the price, you’d have to wear this dress for every costume party until the end of time. Paint party? Better rock that gown. Corporate hoes and CEO’s? Get Snow White ready for action. Escada, Valentino, Elie Saab, and Marchesa all contributed to the occasion, so there’s really a designer for everyone. If you’re interested (which I know you are), e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org and prepare to have the greatest Halloween costume ever for the next hundred years.