Do Vibrators Ruin Sex?


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woman holding pink vibrator in bed

I believe in three things: Everyone should read books. Pizza is the ultimate anytime meal. And vibrators are a must-have. It’s not that I think sex with another person is bad (or that I’ve even *had* sex. Don’t worry, grandma, I’m saving it for marriage) it’s just that sometimes you need a little help. And as we’ve learned from any feel-good coming of age story, there’s no shame in asking for, and receiving, help. And thus, the vibrator was invented.

The only problem is that after you get your first AA-powered friend, you start to wonder if this will make you not want the real thing anymore. I mean, come on. It *is* better than the real thing sometimes, right? But is it good for you? Is it causing your vagina to become desensitized when you blast it up to full power? Is it making you not want penis anymore? I don’t have all of the answers. But thankfully, Cosmopolitan spoke to some sexperts who do have all of the answers, and the results might surprise you.

Vibrators Don’t Ruin Your Vagina

Basically what vibrators do is they vibrate on your good parts, causing blood to flow to the area. If it’s on your clitoris (you know, the place where you’re supposed to put it), then it swells just like a penis and exposes more nerve endings. More nerves mean more feel-good areas. Win win.

The downside is that the more you use those high powered oh-so-good settings, the more you’re going to get used to them. Just like getting into a hot tub or a vat of melted cheese (a girl can dream, okay?). At first, you’re like, “holy shit this is hot,” but then as you ease in there and get used to the temperature, it’s not so bad. Once you get out you’ll get used to the outside world again, but when you go back in? That shit will be hot. It’s the same thing. You’re not getting “desensitized.” Your body is just adjusting to the feelings. Slow down a few days and you, and your vagina, will be good as new.

Vibrators Don’t Ruin Sex

So here’s the deal: vibrators make orgasming easier. That’s all there is to it. We can’t deny that because that’s literally what they’re made for. And considering there’s a hell of a lot of women out there who have trouble reaching the big O, I think accepting any help we can get is smart. That being said, these little handheld love machines are not substitutes for sex. They can’t kiss you. They can’t cuddle with you after. They can’t make intense eye contact with you, and laugh when things get weird, and say all of the wrong things to you. So no. According to the “brains,” vibrators don’t give you sex. They can’t replace all of the other feelings getting it on with another human gives you. No. Vibrators give you orgasms. And as most women know, sex and orgasms don’t always go hand-in-hand.

Vibrators Might Ruin Your Life

Okay so remember what I said about the whole “hot tub/vat of melted cheese” thing? This is where that comes in. No. A vibrator isn’t going to make sex bad. You’re not going to become addicted to it and you’re not necessarily going to swear off dick in favor for a vibrator. But when it comes down to it, if you only know how to get off thanks to a vibrator, things are going to be a little harder (not literally. Don’t be gross). For a real, live human to get you off, you need to know how that happens. And giving them direction based off of your vibrator won’t help. A human can’t do “the vibration pattern that’s like ‘buzz buzz buzzzzzzzzzzz.'” You need to be able to help them out when they ask for the fifteenth time, “does this feel good?”

So make sure to drop the vibe and do it old school every now and again, or be prepared to always carry your personal sex toy and some fully charged batteries with you at all times. The choice, and orgasm, is yours.

[via Cosmopolitan]

Image via Shutterstock

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable. Hate mail and puppy videos can be sent to:

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