You did it. You let him confuse your crazy for charisma and you got em on lock. So much so that he wants you to meet his parents. *GASP* That’s some serious shit. But if you take my advice, this should be absolutely no big deal.
DO Make Sure You Are Serious(ish)
As much as we downplay it, meeting the parents is a big deal. They can either welcome you into their family with open arms, or they can take one look at your nose ring and proceed to make snide remarks at you for your entire visit. If you aren’t ready to take that plunge, then suggest that you two wait until you are texting each other during hours when the sun is up.
DON’T Show Up Empty Handed
Mama always said don’t show up to a new house empty handed. Especially a house of people you are trying to impress. It doesn’t have to be wild and lavish, just a little goodie that you’ve baked or some pretty flowers. Something that makes you look less like The Girl That Fucks Their Son and more like The Potential Future Daughter-In-Law. Plus, a couple brownie points (no pun intended) never hurt anybody.
DO Offer Help In Any Way
Offer to help prepare food, clean up, etc. Offering to pay for yourself is up to your own discretion, but it usually makes for an extremely awkward debate. They probably won’t let you, but the offer alone shows you have manners and weren’t raised in a barn.
DON’T Be Yourself
Well, you can be yourself, just not TOTALLY yourself. Don’t be fake, but also don’t tell them that story about the time that you went home with that guy and ended up just throwing up and passing out on his bathroom floor. Pretty sure that doesn’t need an explanation.
DO Act Like You Like Each Other
If the two of you sit and bicker all day to throw his parents off of the scent of sexual tension in the air, they’ll just think you’re a bitch. You can talk about funny times you’ve had together or laugh at inside jokes without publicly playing tonsil hockey. But if the two of you communicate via barking at each other, hey, to each their own.
DON’T Act Like You Are Filming A Porno
HUGS ONLY. Seriously, you will both have time to grab each others’ thighs behind closed doors, but under the dinner table is definitely not the place to do it. They know you probably fuck, but they don’t want to know for sure. Just keep it G-rated.
DO Ask For Baby Pictures
You think he’s cute now, wait until you see his baby pictures. If you have time with his parents alone, this is a perfect way to bond. It’s an innocent topic, and OH MY GOODNESS LOOK AT HIS LITTLE SMILE HE IS THE MOST PRECIOUS THING IN THE WORLD.
DON’T Just Sit On Your Phone
It is so easy to avoid awkwardness by just staring at your phone, but that could make it even more awkward. Stay as engaged in the conversation as much as you can, even when his aunt who stopped by to visit is telling you a story about this girl who looks just like you. Everyone has got a story, but some are just waaaaay longer than others.
DO Thank Them Profusely
Manners, manners, manners. Thank them for dinner/letting you stay with them/whatever activity you all did together. Let them know it was so nice to meet them and you had a great time. It’s the last thing they’ll remember about the time with you.
DON’T Be Nervous
You are a lovable, sweet, confident woman that any guy would be lucky to take home to his parents. As long as you keep some sort of human decency, you will be fine. After this, you can take on anything. Like meeting his extremely religious grandmother.
Don’t worry, you got this..
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Ali Hin
A born and raised Jersey girl, she can always be found covered in sand and pizza sauce. Her personal brand is "that girl." She prefers wine in bottles because she thinks outside of the box. Send fan mail to [email protected] or by smoke signal.
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