I consider myself QUITE the expert on all types of alcohol, but I am somewhat of a world-renowned connoisseur when it comes to vodka. After studying abroad in Russia (don’t go there, by the way), I became fairly acquainted with the beauty of the libation. It’s versatility is unparalleled. It can be mixed with anything, because we all know that true, premium vodka is almost tasteless. I tend to favor a double vodka soda with lime, but people love it in martinis, cosmos, and of course, it is 1/5 of the formula for an LIT. I could go on and on about the ways to use vodka to get drunk, but a new study shows that vodka is actually good for more than just making average-looking guys seem attractive enough to give an OTPHJ to on the dance floor.
1. It’s an air freshener
Apparently, both vodka and home air fresheners have the same main ingredient: ethyl alcohol. Experts suggest either spritzing “vodka straight into the air as is,” or adding a few drops of essential oil, making your own little DIY room freshener. How Pinterest-y, except it doesn’t suck.
2. It’s good for flowers
I always thought flowers died as soon as the boy who sent them to you loses interest (at least, in my experience, that timeline is correct). According to this study, flowers die because of the bacteria that gets in the water in the vase and subsequently travels through their stems. The article suggests putting a 1:5 ratio of vodka:water in your vase will extend the life of your “I’m sorry I forgot to call” bouquet. Neat.
3. It’s better than Windex
Fuck a spray bottle and paper towels. Now all you need to polish home surfaces is a washcloth dampened with vodka. Amazing.
4. It makes a good vanilla extract
For those of us who enjoy baking our carbs before eating them, vodka can make a great vanilla extract if mixed with chopped vanilla beans. I guess you just let the two sit in an airtight container for a little while and then you’re good to go? Domestic I am not, however, so my mind went the other way completely. All I wondered was how difficult it could really be to make my own flavor-infused vodka.
5. Make your own perfume
This whole thing sounds like a lot of effort, but the article explains how, if you’re interested:
“Put a few inches of petals in a pot, and place a solid object like a brick on top of them. Pour water over the petals so that they’re completely submerged. Next, place a small stainless-steel bowl inside the pot, on top of the brick. Cover everything with an inverted domed lid, and bring the water to a simmer. The rose petals release their oil into the water as it boils; it then condenses on the lid and falls into the bowl. Pour the water from the bowl into a small jar, and add a tablespoon of vodka to preserve it. The spray lasts for a few months.”
6. Make ice packs
Because this isn’t 1945 and using bags of peas is now unacceptable. Putting vodka in a plastic bag and leaving it in the freezer makes a better ice pack for bruises or sore muscles.
7. It increases your blood flow
Studies show that light to moderate drinkers (which is one to four drinks a week, so I guess we’re all out here) are better protected against a stroke. Drinking red wine and vodka increases blood flow to your heart, which I guess makes sense because any time I’ve had too much of either, it’s clear blood was not flowing to my brain.
8. It’s an anti-septic
This one time, I was wearing this KILLER pair of peep-toed pumps and I accidentally dropped a chipped bottle of vodka on my foot. My friend, who was in the nursing program, told me to throw some vodka on it before wrapping it up. It didn’t work that well and I wound up having to get stitches the next day, but it allowed me to continue partying.
Overall, my take away from this article is that the only thing you really need to be an adequate housewife is a bottle of vodka. There just may be hope for me yet.
Image via AbsolutAds.com