Elle Woods Was Probably A Major Bitch


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Nice Move

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Elle Woods is what made every girl want to go out and become a lawyer join a sorority. She was the ideal sorority girl of her time, which is different from the t-shirt wearing, Netflix binge watching, salt tequila lime sorority girl we know and love today, but it was the early 2000s and that’s what was in at the time. It was all about tube tops, bedazzling everything, and always looking pink and polished.

Two things have stayed the same. Pink is still a go-to for just about anything and sorority girls. Not only did Elle Woods have endless money, but also perfect clothes, perfect nails, and perfect blonde hair. We all like to think that Elle Woods was perfect, but I think if you take a closer look, you’ll see she was really a bitch, just like the rest of us. You’re almost guaranteed to be a bitch when there’s that much perfect in your life.

First of all, we KNOW Delta Nu had a kick-ass recruitment, and President Elle Woods was front and center. They didn’t recruitment videos the way we do now, but if Elle Woods made a video to get into law school, you bet your ass she would’ve made a recruitment video. She probably would’ve organized the video (even though she was President, not recruitment chair) and included everything we love to hate. I can picture it now, glitter blowing everywhere, Perfect Day in the background, and at least five hot girls randomly ending up at a body of water (with Elle pushing her way to the center in her pink sparkle bikini).

Can we also please discuss the fact that she only has two friends in Delta Nu? TWO. After she doesn’t get a ring from Warner no one actually tries to help her. Amy tries to get her help with lip liner, and immediately leaves when she finds out Elle was dumped. (Bitch move on Amy’s part, too.) Only two Delta Nu besties actually tried to help her while she was in her room crying and throwing chocolate at her TV. And then there’s also the fact that in “Legally Blonde 2: Red, White, and Blonde,” only two Delta Nu sisters are at her bridal shower. I think that speaks for itself.

At one point in the movie she literally says, “Everybody likes me.” Conceited much?

I’m not saying Elle never had friends. Elle probably ditched them as soon as Warner gave her the time of day. You know that she spent every second with him, and the only topic of conversation with Elle over lunch had Warner’s name in it.

She doesn’t even mention her big and little. Not once does she bring up her big being the most inspiring person in her life and fails to mention the most perfect human being that is her little. How can you go a full 96 minutes and not once mention either of the most important things in sorority life?? (Answer: she ditched her fam the second Warner called her pink furry phone.)

Elle was a goody two-shoes. She had the perfect life with the perfect boyfriend and was President of her favorite sorority, so she probably didn’t take kindly to the party girls trying to ruin the sorority’s reputation. I bet President Elle was probably a snitch at any social. She was standard’s best friend and would rat you out the second you started to dance on the table, wipe the X’s off your hands, or flash someone. Basically, she tattled on you for having fun. Delta Nu was probably so happy that she scored a 179 on her LSAT because then she’d be on the East Coast and finally stop sucking the fun out of socials.

Even though she was a total bitch, I still want to be her. What can I say? She’s perfect, and that may be the bitchiest thing about her.

Image via Youtube


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