If you asked any woman what the worst thing about being a girl is, should would respond periods and heels. Heels were clearly invented by a man, because there is no way that a woman would create a device with such evil embed in such a tiny little chopsticks that you have to teeter on. They were clearly made to make women slower and therefore more vulnerable. The social paradox is that we hate to wear them, but we would never be caught dead out without them. Something about someone wearing completely flat shoes at a party says “no thanks, I’d rather be petting my cats.” If only there was a solution to this problem. Oh wait, there is: flatforms.
I was shoe shopping with my friend, and as a joke, I picked out a pair of black Steve Madden flatforms to try on. As I secured them on my feet and stood up, I was transformed, I just hadn’t realized it yet. I snuck around the aisles to find my friend, and a woman stopped me to compliment me on my shoes. I was shocked that someone actually found these reasonable to wear in public. I stopped and looked in the mirror, and I actually kind of liked them. I thought they were for hipsters and people in the 1990s, but I was totally pulling them off. My friend found me checking myself out in the mirror, and loved the shoes too. She insisted that I bought them, so I followed my gut and the advice of my trsutworthy friend and marched straight to the cash register. I left DSW a new person. A person who wears flatforms.
For the longest time, I was like you. I thought flatforms were fugly and ridiculous. Why would you wear shoes that made you taller when the soles are flat? But that’s the best part. You still get that lift that heels give you without the excruciating pain of actually wearing heels. Now you may be thinking to yourself, okay, I understand the practicality of such footwear, but I, a young, spry lady don’t need to worry about something like that just yet, so I’ll pass. But you are wrong. Flatforms aren’t just about how comfortable they are (but did I mention they are very comfortable?) You don’t just have to wear them in the place of “going out” heels. Flatforms are the perfect compliment to any outfit.
Parties, bars, day drinks, vacation, even an overzealous class presentation, flatforms will make you look fashionable, fierce, and un-fuck-with-able. Flatforms give off a powerful presence. You are standing tall and flat on your own two feet. No bondage, no pencil thin plastic jabbing into your heel, no toes being shoved into a peeptoe, not even so much as a wedge, and you still look like you woke up this morning ready to kick today’s ass. Flatforms give you the boost of confidence that you don’t even need, because you are rocking GD flatforms. It’s a win-win, really..
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Ali Hin
A born and raised Jersey girl, she can always be found covered in sand and pizza sauce. Her personal brand is "that girl." She prefers wine in bottles because she thinks outside of the box. Send fan mail to [email protected] or by smoke signal.
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