It’s here. After years of wishing, years of liking then unliking, years of commenting “dislike” on things we, well, disliked, it’s happening. According to Mashable, Mark Zuckerberg announced today that Facebook is going to be adding a “dislike” button.
People have asked about the ‘dislike’ button for many years, and probably hundreds of people have asked about this, and today is a special day because today is the day that I actually get to say we are working on it, and are very close to shipping a test of it.
What they really want is the ability to express empathy. Not every moment is a good moment.
Facebook had stayed away from the feature for awhile because they didn’t want to turn into Reddit. But the “dislike” button is supposed to be different. Apparently it will allow folks to express emotions about sad things without having to physically type a comment. In theory it’s supposed to be used for when a dog dies, a car crashes, or other life events go to shit. But that’s not what I plan to do with it. As I’m currently drooling over the passive-aggressive possibilities, I have a few events that I can’t wait to “dislike.”
- When my ex’s status goes from “Single” to “In a Relationship.”
- And then again, when it switches on over to engaged.
- Same for my boyfriend’s exes, my exes exes, and anyone I’ve ever had genital contact with.
- When that girl I hate gets a new job.
- And then when she gets promoted.
- Anyone’s engagement photos.
- Or wedding photos.
- Two words: Baby. Pictures.
- Any photos of food.
- Or beer.
- We get it. You’re at the beach. You have beer. No pictures necessary.
- Pictures of your ugly manicure.
- Anything involving #MCM, #Blessed, or #Bae.
- Tags at the gym.
- Selfies. Any selfie. Every selfie. All of the selfies.
It’s a beautiful day for kind souls and cold-hearted bitches alike. I can’t wait to empathize with people whose pets have died and send a virtual side-eye to girls who post Transformation Tuesdays.
The update is expected to roll out soon, and finally, the world will become a more expressive place. Or people are going to flip a shit and realize how mean everyone really is. Either way, it’ll be entertaining as well. Nice job, Zuck. You get a “like” from us.