Columns

Fail Friday: Incest and Obesity

Blowing your second cousin because he just got accepted to medical school and is totes going to be the richest guy in the county. TSM
–New York

I’d expect this from West Virginia, but New York?!?!?

Letting any military personnel between the ages of 17 and 76 have their way with me to celebrate America’s birthday. TSM.
–New York

I hope you and Boris have a lot of fun together.

Told my Fratdaddy it’s un-sratutional to not look my best at all hours of the day. TSM.
–Indiana

Go breathe under water.

You know they’re your sisters when the fart-before-you-pee fart isn’t awkward. TSM.
–Texas

But oh so awkward for the rest of us.

Every time you started making out with him we all cheered for you… that’s what sorority sisters do – they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar. TSM
–Texas

Oh, so THAT’S what sisters do.

High-fiving for banging a Fraternity president. TSM
–Canada

I suppose that would be cause for celebration in Canada.

One shower. 4 girls. 7 razors. TSM.
–Alabama

Sounds like the prequel to 2 girls, one cup.

That moment you realizing his fun alcoholic moments are real alcoholism. TSM
–Alabama

“And it’s like, I can’t dump him NOW because he’s an alcoholic, but like, I can’t stay with him now that he’s an alcoholic either.”

I squirt in my fratdaddy’s face when i’m riding him. TSM
–Tennessee

I hope he squirts his love potion in your face too.

Using “That was ONE time!” as an excuse for everything. TSM.
–Minnesota

“Remember that time you gave two guys head in one night?” “That was ONE time!” Yeah, it definitely works.

As a matter of fact, we DO hate obesity

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