Fail Friday: Jelly Doughnuts For Everyone

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Ten real submissions and one video that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

Join a sorority, lose your virginity. TSM.
–Texas

That’s not exactly how it went for me, buuut congrats on becoming a sister. And a slut.

Only in high school, and I’m known as the “sorority girl” because of my closet and my crafting ablilities. TSM.
–Tennessee

Shouldn’t you be busy giving someone a hand job underneath the bleachers or something? Come back when you get your first period.

My father doing nothing my mother says. TFM. My mother doing everything my father says. TSM.
–Ohio

What an awesome example they’re setting for you as parents. Sounds like a lot of mutual respect is going on in your home.

Not being able to tell my FratDaddy no. TSM
–Kentucky

I hope he asks you for a three-way with a chlamydia-ridden prostitute.

Throwing jelly donuts at girls from the fat sorority in lecture. TSM.
–Michigan

I call bullshit. But it would be hilarious really mean if you did. PanLAM.

Comparing FUPA characteristics on a scale from 1 to cottage cheese. TSM.
–Michigan

Lay off the jelly doughnuts being thrown at you during lecture, Michigan.

Shelf stocked with Plan B. TSM.
–Ohio

Is it cheaper if you buy it in bulk?

8 different guys all in the same frat asking what I am doing tonight, looks like I’ll have someone to go home with tonight. TSM
–Anonymous

Eight different guys in the same fraternity know you’ll give it up easily. That’s lovely.

Offering a beer to the bus driver for formal. TSM.
–Florida

I know, he was so lonely up there! You just wanted him to join the party. You’re so considerate.

Dancing on the beer pong table and having it break, puking all over yourself and your sister, and peeing in the corner but still keeping it classy in Lilly. TSM.
–Nevada

Wearing Lilly 100% negates any unclassy actions. She’s a lifesaver really.

I can’t even begin to deal with the number of sandwiches you’re never getting

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  1. 1
    GDI_Jihad

    “Shouldn’t you be busy giving someone a hand job underneath the bleachers or something? Come back when you get your first period.”

    The intern didn’t get her period until college.

    ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 2 years ago
  2. -2
    BamaForRomney

    I bet in high school, Hawtpiece and her friends were the ones who thought everyone hated them because they were jealous, when really, they were just annoying. Food for thought. #oh, and dating a GDI or pledge, NS.

    ^ ThisBless your heartReply • 2 years ago

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