Columns

Fail Friday: Three Second Rule

Ten real TSM submissions and one video that didn’t seem quite right. Names were omitted to protect the guilty.

I didn’t want my other sisters to find me passed out on the stairs so when I saw them I ran into the bathroom and passed out there. TSM
-North Carolina

Hope no one had to pee.

The mid-shack “don’t lose my number” speech TSM.
-South Carolina

Guys have to listen to you bitch 23 hours and 52 minutes of the day. For those eight minutes, just shut up.

I got my nails done today so that my boy toy will see what a classy bitch I am when I give him a hand job tonight. TSM
-Louisiana

Stop trying to make hand jobs happen. They’re NOT going to happen.

Social Chair is worried about being called to Standards for falling off the bar… meanwhile the Standards Chair is being straddled on the ground of the dance floor. TSM.
-Minnesota

Your sorority sounds like a class act.

Snorting 60 milligrams of “mexican adderal” before googling it and find out it’s obesity medication. At least I didn’t have to work out on break. TSM.
-New Jersey

I’m always wary of the Mexican version of things.

“I only made out with five guys last night”. TSM
-Indiana

Slow night…

Martha Stewart still crafting behind bars. TSM.
-Florida

Congrats, you highlighted the only unsratty thing about Martha Stewart.

Finally completing my collection of shack shirts from each fraternity on campus. TSM.
-Virginia

FINALLY!!!

Fratdaddy came to pick me up wearing the same thing as my dad. TSM.
-Kentucky

Maybe if you pick a guy EXACTLY like him, Daddy will finally accept you.

Wine me, dine me, sixty nine me. TSM.
-Anonymous

Did you just quote Alanis Morissette?

Three seconds is awfully ambitious…

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