All women love Pinterest. It makes you feel creative and as if you have your life together. And you totally relate to the hair flip girl emoji when you actually follow through and make one of the DIY monogrammed wreaths you pinned two years ago. Pinterest is your go-to website when you don’t know what to get your boyfriend for Christmas or how to celebrate Valentine’s Day. It’s the modern day Google for 20- and 30-year-old women.
But the thing is, it is an unwritten rule to only discuss Pinterest with your lady friends. Sure, you acknowledge it if you must around boys. But every chick knows not to tell her significant other to purposely look at your account. Why? Because they will think you are a Stage 5 clinger if they see the shit you are actually pinning. At the time when you are pinning things, you think your boards are just innocent and cute. However, your boyfriend won’t see it that way. If he does a thorough scan through your Pinterest page, he will not only think you are creepy AF, he will have higher expectations of you and be genuinely confused what goes through your head when he sees pictures of pineapples with sunglasses on.
Your boyfriend is probably aware that you already have a wedding board; he just doesn’t want to see it. And you shouldn’t show it to him. This may come as a shock to you, but a boyfriend (not fiancé) who finds out that you have everything planned for your wedding, all the way down to what color napkins you want, might not thank you for planning his wedding that far in advance. In his mind, you are ready for marriage, like, NOW. And he might not be ready for that commitment since you two have only been dating for three weeks. In addition to getting married, if he sees boards with pictures of little kids he will probably think there’s a reason you all of a sudden don’t want to use rubbers anymore. Are you pinning pictures of children because you want to have his babies? Or are you pinning these pictures because you are already knocked up? He will be scared that his future isn’t looking too bright if he sees boards dedicated to your future kids.
If you make the mistake of letting your beau go through your Pinterest page, he will suddenly have higher expectations for you. Say bye-bye to romantic date nights to fancy restaurants because apparently you know how to cook five-star gourmet meals. You will hear, “What’s for dinner, babe?” every evening. He might not expect you to slave away in the kitchen daily, but now he reckons you have a mini Rachel Ray in you. Oh, and wear an apron and heels when you cook because that’s what all of the cute pictures show trophy wives wearing. And let’s not forget all of your organization pins. Why are you still bitching about your life being in shambles if you have access to a solution? And is there anywhere on Pinterest that shows you how to tame your morning bedhead? Both of you know you need to get that shit on lockdown.
God bless your sex life if your boyfriend sees your boards. The game will change the second he notices one even somewhat sexual picture. You probably didn’t even notice you repinned that picture of two people obviously naked in bed under sheets. He now thinks Pinterest is suddenly going to bring you a sexual awakening and you will become some kind of freaky intercourse artist who wants to rip his clothes off every time you two are alone. He knows you have availability to blow job advice, and you better start reading those links dammit.
One thing that your man will definitely take note of is your materialistic side. You don’t realize it, but all of those classy, expensive shoes and jewelry are going to come off as high-maintenance to him. Even if you are super chill and low-maintenance in person, he will be baffled and uncomfortable when he sees how almost every accessory is Michael Kors. Is his wallet really ready for you?
Basically, just keep your Pinterest account out of sight from your boyfriend..