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Frat Guy Tries To Urinate On Fire To Keep It From Burning His House Down

Pissing KA

When faced with disaster, people are capable of extraordinary things. You hear about adrenaline giving mothers the strength to lift cars off their children. Hell, most of us can do the impossible when our parents come home after we’ve been on a bender in our hometown: act sober. Some KA geniuses at the University of Houston also acted in a truly extraordinary manner in the face of adversity. Their house caught fire several hours after the boys turned on the heat, and they tried to piss it out.

Burning urination meets burning building.

You like how he just gets real like that on the local news? I’m not going to say the dude is high as fuck, because maybe he’s just reaaally chill, and I don’t want to accuse anyone of using drugs. But, I mean, “We were just hanging out, playing it cool…and then we were like what are we supposed to do with this fire?…We even tried pissing on it” is not exactly the “Hi, Mom” that most people let out when they’re on TV. The fire, though, is not related to a lit roach left in the attic, so my theory has no merit. It is likely to have been an electrical fire.

What the brothers of Kappa Alpha evacuated from their bladders was unsurprisingly not enough to minimize the large flames engulfing their home, but damage was mainly limited to the attic. The eight brothers inside the home at the time were able to escape easily and stay with friends for the night. No injuries were reported.

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Veronica Ruckh

Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at [email protected]

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