I stand firmly in my belief that all women have — or will eventually have — a self-pleasure device. My sorority held “passion parties” (re: tupperware parties, but for sex toys) at least once a year. They were a blast, and I highly recommend them. Some schools promote a culture where you have to hide the fact that you masturbate, but eventually, you’ll realize that manual labor is NS and get a vibrator. Men, unfortunately, don’t share in our sex toy luxury. If a man buys a toy to stick his penis into, he’s generally met with shame, which is why we still don’t know who stole the fleshlights from our office.
Blowup girlfriends are a favorite gag gift among gross dudes for some reason, so when the members of Phi Delta Theta at U Penn found a Beyonce doll, they were eager to add it to their secret Santa gift exchange, and happy to include Queen Bey in their Christmas card photo.
After backlash from the school, the fraternity immediately apologized for its decision to post the image of the doll, citing “once removed from the packaging, it bore no semblance to the artist beyond skin color, adding to its offensive nature.” The fraternity was put on probation by its national office and completed sensitivity following the apology. Seems like the punishment fits the “crime” of purchasing a Beyonce doll that, by no fault of the buyer, did not end up looking like Beyonce.
Now, four months later, a student organization that goes by SOUL (Students Organizing for Unity and Liberty), organized a protest by way of mock slave auction to be held outside the fraternity, claiming the purchase and posting of this doll was similar to slavery. The organization wrote on its Facebook event page:
“The historical relationship between White males and Black females has been one of purchase, rape, and domination. We haven’t forgotten about this and remain unsatisfied with the university’s response and punishment of Phi Delta Theta.”
This sort of seems like harassment, but harassment is okay as long as the fraternity is the victim.
Junior Aidan McConnell told Campus Reform:
SOUL’s activism in this instance isn’t commensurate with what Phi Delta Theta did last semester,” Aidan McConnell, a junior at UPenn, told Campus Reform. “By hosting a slave auction outside the fraternity, SOUL seems to be using what was ultimately a tasteless mistake and transforming it into a truly unfair narrative about people who are trying to make amends with other university groups. It’s a very callous way of drawing attention that only damages SOUL’s legitimacy on campus.”
Call me crazy, but the only person who should be mad right now is Beyonce. And now maybe Phi Delta Theta..
[via Campus Reform]
Image via Everett Collection / Shutterstock.com
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Veronica Ruckh
Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at [email protected]
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