Jack Flynn, a frosh at the University Of Arizona, has college men and women writing him full on letters, begging for his approval. Seriously, this freshman geed (for now) has people from all over the country vying for his attention. Why? He has created the first ever alcohol scholarship.
A friend of his was gracious enough to provide him with an alcohol fund, and he was so appreciative that he decided to pay it forward. He had a ton of extra scholarship money, a problem all of us wish we had, and instead of planning a lavish study abroad trip, he would rather you get sloshed on his dime. Nothing gets his dick hard like helping out his peers.
To apply, click here and fill out the application by May 1st. A persuasive essay is involved, so channel your high school English teacher and make sure your case is as convincing as OJ’s defense (too soon?). Spelling doesn’t count, but if you can’t at least sound it out, I’m not positive you should be allowed in college. His decision committee, not unlike your college’s Office of Admissions, reads the applications and looks for the most outstanding candidate.
Now, I’m not sure on the legality of all of this, but I like the way he thinks. His rationale is when college students save money on alcohol, they can put money towards academics/food/etc. I mean it makes sense. Some delinquent actually won, so it must be pretty legit. If a guy at a bar told me to beg him to buy him a drink, I would laugh in his fucking face. But Jack is offering to buy me drinks for a whole semester. So I mean, I’m not gonna not check it out..
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