Columns

Fun Summer Plans For You And Your Friends To Make And Then Bail On Last Minute

Walton Police Department Sends TFM Sassy Letter, Because They Do NOT Want Spring Breakers On Their Beaches

Hooray! It’s summer! Finally you have time to spend with your friends with no responsibilities. Well, that’s if you can all miraculously get a day off from your summer job at the same time. But for the purpose of this column, let’s just pretend you are all available. Anywho, there is so much to catch up on and so much to do, but unfortunately, you and your friends are the flakiest group of people alive. You all know that your plans aren’t going to follow through, so you might as well make them sound fun.

Happy Hour

Now that you are all old enough, or all have good enough fakes, you can go out for cheap drinks like the fiscally-responsible ladies that you are. Plan to go days in advanced, but when one of your friends texts the group on the day of, no one answer her. The silence is enough of an answer. No one is going.

Night At The Movies

Has it been a lazy day? Take advantage of the last few hours of the day! Get up and go see a movie with your friends. Make plans to go to the 9:30 show, and lay down for a quick nap at 8. Wake up at midnight with 16 missed calls from your friends, send an apology text, and watch Netflix until you fall back asleep.

Pool Day

Every girl needs their vitamin D and vitamin G (for gossip!). Text everyone to come over, since you are the one with a pool. One of your friends should send back a wishy-washy “that sounds fun!” text, quickly followed by someone changed the subject. It buries your invite in a different conversation so deep that no one has to bother coming up with an excuse.

Go To A House Party

One of your loose acquaintances from high school is having people over tonight, so you might as well go just to say hi. It’s something to do. You’re out to dinner with your family, so you let your friends decide how you are all getting there and getting home. But after dinner, you scroll through the texts to find that everyone is “too tired” to go. Except for Brianna. She’s dying to go. Only problem is she hasn’t showered, and that takes at least 3 hours. Might as well put your pajamas on and take off your makeup as soon as you get home because you are definitely staying in tonight.

Day Trip The Nearest City

A day trip takes lots of planning and trust in your friends. The best way for these plans to fall through is one person at a time. It starts with a family obligation, then someone getting called into work, then someone trying to save money, and then it’s decided that you will go another day when everyone can go. Which everyone knows will be never, but you don’t have to say it.

Enjoy your summer and your friends the only way you know how: tagging each other in memes on Facebook.

Email this to a friend

Ali Hin

A born and raised Jersey girl, she can always be found covered in sand and pizza sauce. Her personal brand is "that girl." She prefers wine in bottles because she thinks outside of the box. Send fan mail to [email protected] or by smoke signal.

For More Photos and Videos

Latest podcasts

New Stories

Load More