Gaining Weight In College Actually Has Nothing To Do With Drinking, Eating, And Refusing To Work Out


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Gaining Weight In College Actually Has Nothing To Do With Drinking, Eating, And Refusing To Work Out

Since getting to college and joining a sorority, I have blossomed. Really, I’ve grown. I have a wildly passionate “personality.” Bid Day was the most overwhelming day of my life, mostly because I could not believe I was picked. I got a bid from my top choice and I was ecstatic, but a small part confused what they even saw in me. After the first few days, I realized I fit right in. A girl in my pledge class came up to me and said, “I think we are going to be best friends.” And she was right. My sisters have had my back, lifted me up, challenged me, and loved me unconditionally until I learned how to love myself.

We hit the dining halls together after class. We went to every Greek event that advertised free food. We bonded over glasses of wine and Chinese takeout. We shared late night pizza. We spent our hungover mornings at the diner. I have never been able to be more “myself.” Seriously so much more of myself. My personality has grown so big that I have to start storing it on my body. It’s the only logical explanation. I’ve been using my college years to grow as a person, so why wouldn’t I be growing on my person? Here are a few qualities that have worked their way to the surface:

  • Confidence: I keep a little bit right under my chin to remind myself to keep it up.
  • Honesty: My honesty is on my hips. Because they don’t lie.
  • Sense of humor: I got an extra layer behind my arms, right on top of my funny bone. The humerus. Get it???
  • Humility: I cover up my abs with a bit of humility, because if I had a killer six-pack then my head would be blown up like Snoopy on Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.
  • Educated opinions: My thoughts on human rights, the price of college, and who should win So You Think You Dance? are firmly planted on my right boob.
  • Uneducated opinions: My thoughts on foreign policy, racial issues, and who should be the next President of the United States? Left boob. Because one is always bigger than the other, amirite ladies?
  • Dignity: I would keep my dignity on my ass, but unfortunately, I don’t have much of either.
  • So don’t worry about your butt getting bigger or double chin in pictures, it’s just your big, shining personality showing.

A born and raised Jersey girl, she can always be found covered in sand and pizza sauce. Her personal brand is "that girl." She prefers wine in bottles because she thinks outside of the box. Send fan mail to or by smoke signal.

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