Girl Beauty Problems Versus Male Personal Care Problems


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Nice Move

Getting Ready

Sex is something many college students put more effort into than their schoolwork. You can’t spell “laid” without an A. So if your parents ask, of course you are making all A’s. But not just anyone can have another body flop around on top of his or her own. Your appearance cannot be a prehistoric mentally insane person dressed as MC Hammer or Kesha. In order to find a mate, or just to look like a decent human being who is living in the 2010s, we take care of our personal hygiene. Hopefully. And after we have that down, some of us take it a step further and add on makeup, shave, take care of our hair, etc. But doing so isn’t as easy as it sounds. There are always going to be those little struggles you come across in order to look nice. But who has it harder? Men or women?


  1. Getting your eyebrows waxed feels like you have given someone else the privilege to rip off your face.
  2. You spend ten extra minutes rinsing your hair because you’re not sure whether it’s just ridiculously soft, or there is still conditioner in it.
  3. One of the few (many) times you forget to shave, your friends drag you to the beach, pool, lake, bathtub, any body of water, etc.
  4. You stop blow-drying your hair every time your phone has a notification and take twice as long than you should to get ready.
  5. Starbucks is basically your dream sanctuary, but you’re scared to drink too much of it because it will stain your pearly whites.
  6. You refuse to cut your hair because you want it to be as long as possible.
  7. You’re scared to put heat on your strands because you don’t want it to catch fire and ruin your split ends.
  8. And by the end of the day/night your sticky, smell-good $30 hairspray doesn’t do it’s job.
  9. So you basically burnt your hair for no reason.
  10. Shaving becomes a requirement as soon as you learn to walk.
  11. If you are one of the few girls that ~love~ beer, you try hard to drink as little as possible because a beer gut looks different on girls than it does dudes. Unfair, but that’s life.
  12. Fake tanning is your only hope to looking tan.
  13. Cuddling ruins your hair.
  14. Mascara makes your eyelashes stick together.
  15. You shed like a sheepdog. Don’t deny it; showers don’t lie.
  16. Taking your makeup off every night is a pain in the ass, but you look like a pale eight-year-old without eyelashes if you don’t wear it.
  17. Men can walk around in public with their shirts off, but when you do it in most settings, it’s considered inappropriate and you can possibly get a ticket or whatever.


  1. They have to make sure not to use the same razor to shave their beard as they do to shave their dicks.
  2. Balls get itchy and it’s hard for them to subtly scratch in public.
  3. Biting their nails is considered a manicure.
  4. Sunglass tans are unavoidable.
  5. As well as shorts/swim trunks tanlines.
  6. They get food stuck in their beard.
  7. Sitting on their balls is the equivalent to squishing the fuck out of your boobs.
  8. Dad bods are trending, which can be a good or bad thing.
  9. Bushy eyebrows happen, yet plucking doesn’t, even though it should
  10. Same goes for nose hairs.
  11. Ball sweat.
  12. Skipping leg day but still doing arm workouts is the worst thing they can do to their body.
  13. If they rocked a beard for a while and then shave it off, it leads to awkward beard tanlines.

Women definitely have it harder.

Kellie, spelled with an "ie," practically resides at Starbucks even though they have yet to spell her name correctly. She's obsessed with the color pink, Elle Woods, and Bitmoji's. Her biggest accomplishment is breaking the record within her sorority for how many standards hearings she has had without getting kicked out. She spends her free time trying to stay tan (i.e. sunburnt) and stalking people on social media.

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