Since the beginning of time, people have cared about fitting in and being “cool.” It’s literally why social media and beauty products exist. Well, because we’ve all been forced to watch boring videos about our sorority founders, we know this is not why sororities exist. Yet somehow between the invention of coed universities and digital cameras, this changed. Recruitment became less about values and more about hairspray. Competitions like Greek Sing and Homecoming turned into “The Hunger Games” where the ultimate goal is to get paired with the hottest boys (Actually, how awesome would that be to watch?). So now, it’s all about looking good, and being cool.
But even Greeks are human, and we’re all different. Not everybody can be cool, and not everybody even wants to be. You know there are some weird AF guys in your favorite fraternities — these members are the perceived outsiders. And their kind exists in sororities, too.
Yup, even in the top houses.
How? Because recruitment isn’t foolproof. All of us fake it till we make it during rush week, and these girls are no different. They can look like every other average to flawless PNM. Their social media is private like this is a job interview. And they can carry on a shallow recruitment conversation in the same way all other newly-18-year-old girls can (read: not well). Somehow they make it through, and they get a bid before you can see their wardrobe and profile to decide NEVERMIND.
You’re definitely reading this with at least one of your chapter members in mind. She’s weird as hell. I don’t mean in a cutesie haha-I-snort-when-I-laugh-and-I-loooove-Harry-Potter “quirky” that we all claim to be. I’m talking about the embodiment of socially bizarre in the Greek world: She wears bootcut jeans and/or Crocs. She uses “lolz xD” in regular text conversation. An abnormal amount of her Instagram posts are selfies (low quality selfies, at that) with MULTIPLE hashtags like #TagsForLikes, #beautiful, #F4F, #sororitygirl, #ootd, #cute, #instalike… I could go on.
These are the girls that you catch wind of and wonder why or how the hell they even got into your chapter. Do you cringe every time they wear your letters? Do you secretly hope they drop? Well, I’m no saint, but I’ve noticed this attitude since I joined Greek life three years ago, and honestly? It isn’t very sisterly. So I’m here to tell you to take a chill pill and give her a chance. Let me break this down for you.
First I need to preface my explanation by saying that I used to be, like, really into Green Day in junior high. And though I didn’t dress like the punk-emo-goth kids (because my mom shopped for me at the Gap, and would never let me pierce my face), those freaks were my friends. I will mention that most of them eventually turned into cool, regular hipsters and went off to be cool, regular students at art schools. But I’ve seen, known, and evolved from weird. I know these humans well. And I definitely know how the Katy Perrys of the world treat people like them.
Now I’m sure you’re thinking, okay, I won’t be mean, but I don’t want to associate with them. I don’t want them in my letters.
And you’re not alone. As diverse as we all claim to be, a lot of sororities don’t want these girls. Why? It’s the law of attraction. You recruit girls who are similar to you. When there’s one “weird” girl, she recruits another “weird” PNM, the cycle continues, and then what? They keep growing and eventually tarnish our reputation?
Sounds awful. The weird sorority. What a nightmare.
But honestly? Who fucking cares.
The thing is, yes, these particular sisters make you cringe at times, and maybe especially during recruitment. They’re never #goals. But 90 percent of the time? The weird girls are really genuinely nice.
These girls aren’t judgmental because they know what it’s like to be judged, so you can be 50 shades of dork around them and they’ll accept it.
When it comes down to it, you and the weirdies aren’t that different. You got the same bid, didn’t you? What sets you so far apart is that she probably doesn’t care/notice what other people think. And doesn’t being nice to her sound better than obsessing over the supposedly ruined rank of your chapter? All I know is that I (my parents) don’t pay $1,000 plus a year for my fucking reputation of all things. I keep up that shit for free on my own, with or without a sorority’s help. So seriously, just be kind to your sisters, and befriend the girl with the shelf full of shark documentaries.
Or at least, in the words of Kim Kardashian, “DON’T!! BE!! FUCKING!! RUDE!!”.