Great News, Vodka Officially Makes You Beautiful


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While we’ve already determined that drinking wine makes you skinny, as we all know, being skinny is only one side of the coin. While I do feel great when I can squeeze into my skinniest jeans even after they’re fresh out of the dryer, there’s more to what makes me feel beautiful than just being able to easily close that button. As a female in my mid-twenties, I was thrilled to learn that I would still be the victim of near-constant breakouts. Seriously, I have never been more wrong than when I thought I would never have to buy a tube of concealer again after age 16. However, we now have a solution to fix all of your skin problems forever. And that solution is alcohol.

We’re obviously going to drink, but if we are, we should probably be drinking the alcohol that will benefit us the most. If you have problem skin, that solution is vodka, because science has now revealed that vodka will give you absolutely gorgeous skin. I’m not kidding. Throw away the Clearasil and start drinking your way to glowing skin.

Essentially what happens when you drink alcohol is that your body becomes dehydrated, which sadly takes a toll on your face and can even cause early wrinkles. Thankfully, this doesn’t mean that you have to stop drinking, because not all alcohol works in the same way. Clear alcohols, such as vodka, tequila, and gin, actually leave your system much more quickly than dark or sugary forms of alcohol. Of the three of these options, vodka made from potatoes completely forgoes any grains, and is the best and healthiest choice for you and your skin. Break out that bottle of Burnett’s, because you’re basically eating your vegetables and giving yourself a facial with each and every shot. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be busy drinking my way to clearer skin.

[via Vogue]

RecruitmentChairTSM (@TheRecruitChair) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move. This current grad student and ex-sorority girl survives solely on Diet Coke and the tears of the pledges she personally victimized. She's a Monica, a Marnie, a Miranda, and a Regina. Her favorite hobbies include drinking $14 bottles of wine and binge-watching season 2 of Grey's Anatomy until she cries. You can send her annoying e-mails at

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