After months of flirting, snapping, texting, hanging, chilling, messaging, and “just talking,” it’s finally time to cut the shit, put ourselves out there, and find someone special. Or at least, someone special for a night. That’s right, formal season is right around the corner and things are getting interesting.
In the past, we’ve seen it all: flowers and boom boxes outside of windows, cookie cakes and serenades, and flashy shows of people trying to find a partner for formal. But when it all comes down to it, we want to know the facts: will this guy be fun? Will hooking up be required? Will the night end in a crying, regret-filled mess?
Scott Benton, a Theta Chi from the University of Central Florida, took finding a formal date to a whole new level. God bless him.
Sure, we’ve joked about putting out applications for dates, but Scott is one step ahead of us. He literally sent out a résumé to the sisters of Pi Beta Phi to try to secure a spot on the sorority’s winter formal to Mickey’s Very Merry Christmas.
First of all, a formal at Disney? Let me just go put on my Minnie Mouse ears and cry into my bottle of wine now. Secondly? A guy who is as obsessed with Disney as we are? I think we just fell in love. As for the résumé itself? I can’t.
Scotty knows what the ladies want, and he isn’t afraid to really let them know what he has going for him. A “pretty good” bowler? Check. Participates in no-shave November? Check. Favorite president is none other than Ronald Reagan? Check, check, and check.
He just gets it.
The best part? He isn’t even asking for sex. He just wants to have a good time, and in exchange for a magical evening, he promises to help the sister find a date for Theta Chi’s formal, which is to a ski resort. Take note, boys. It’s like he isn’t even a person, but a magical creature that just understands life.
Scott, we’re all rooting for you and we hope that a lucky lady lets you be her Prince Charming for the evening. Thanks to this impressive, no-nonsense document, I have a feeling you might still get laid after the evening. But next time, swap the fact that your brother worked for Pepsi with your height, because we really only care if it’s Diet Coke..
Nice Move872
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Rachel Varina
(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.
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