There’s nothing worse than missing out on an awesome spring break with all your friends. FOMO is a real thing, and having to stay behind while your friends drink themselves into oblivion and get matching ass tats is borderline torture.
We recently received an email from a spring breaker who, by the amount of spelling mistakes and grammatical errors, had a dynamite vacation, despite the fact that his best friend was left out of the loop. He and his friends, who were planning to spend their week in Ft. Lauderdale, decided that it was unfair that one of their own had to miss out on all the fun. Normally I would suggest that these pals are probably a little too attached to one another, but the friend in question just happened to be a Marine, so I’m going to let this one slide. Of course you should pull out all the ropes when your friend is sacrificing a week of non stop partying to instead protect the friggin’ country.
So the boys put their heads together, and ultimately emerged with the brilliant idea of creating a life sized cardboard cutout of their pal and bringing it to the beach to join the debaucheries. Our lead claims the cutout “ended up getting more ass than anyone else there,” which I initially doubted, but have since accepted. You’ll see why.
When did you guys pop a lady boner? The one with the horse cops was when mine hit me like a semi.
Seriously though, props to these kids. This is honestly the perfect way to honor your pal. Kid’s a true American hero and he deserves every hot piece of ass that drunkenly humped the shit out of his picture for the perfect photo op. .