Guys Tell All: Should You Reach For Your Wallet On A Date


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Guys Tell All

I have had this debate with so many girls in my life. Do you do “the reach” when you’re on a date with a guy. You know… the reach, the fumble, the dig through your purse looking for your wallet when the bill comes just so you can pretend to offer to pay for your share of the meal. So many girls — so many girls feel obligated to do so.

Me personally? Never. Not once. I find it incredibly awkward to pretend I’m going to pay for a date when I have literally no intention of doing so. I’m not a good actress, and the whole thing feels forced. Plus, if a guy thinks I should be offering, that’s not the kind of guy I want to date. I’m old-fashioned in that, I kind of want to be taken care of. We could easily get into a whole debate right now on why a guy should even “have” to pay for dates because of feminism, and equality and all that… but honestly, fuck political correctness. The guy should pay on a date. Always. And I’ve never felt obligated to pretend I didn’t feel that way.

Of course, every time I poll the room, it seems like the majority of girls are there to make me look like an asshole. “I expect him to pay, but I still want to be polite,” they say. I am fucking polite. When the check comes, I wait for him to grab it and then I say thank you. Boom. Manners. We always inevitably debate back and forth. Girls like me think that if a guy needs me to make that offer, then he shouldn’t have bothered asking to take me out at all. The other girls think I’m a gold-digging bitch.

But frankly, it doesn’t matter what we think. It matters what guys think. So I asked them. Should a girl reach for her wallet on a date as a courtesy? Here’s what they had to say.

Nah. I got it, girl. Once we’re in a relationship we can start splitting things or switching who pays on and off again, but early on — when I’m trying to win you over — it’s on me.

-Dan Regester

No, it makes things awkward. If you really want to pay for something, make it really clear in advance. The conversation shouldn’t happen when the check is dropped.

-Jake Goldman

Hell no. That’s not how the system works, and it’s emasculating. You think I’m broke or something? Hands out of your purse, woman.

-Ross Bolen

Don’t reach unless you actually want to pay. If I ask a girl out, I fully intend on paying for the date. If you really want to pick up the whole tab, more power to you, but we’re not splitting it and offering to just makes it weird.

-Matt Felser

Only if she votes.

-Rob Fox

If I’m trying to impress you and we’re not yet boyfriend/girlfriend, don’t even bother bringing anything but your ID. But if we’ve been together for a while and we’re having a casual night out? Split it with me so I don’t start to resent you because I always pay.

-Will deFries

Not if you’re just a hook up or if it’s a special occasion (Valentine’s Day, her birthday, etc.), but if you’re dating and go out together all the time? Pick up the tab every so often. Don’t make your dude pay for everything. Unless he wants to, of course. Then more power to ya.

-Jared Borislow

So I don’t mean to brag, but I was right. You don’t have to pay, and you don’t have to pretend to pay. You don’t have to be so worried about being likable that you act like you’re going to do something that you’re not going to do. Go forth, my friends, and leave your wallets at home.

Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at

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