Guys Tell All: What Do You Wish More Girls Would Do In Bed?


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Nice Move

Guys Tell All

Honestly, one of the scariest things about sleeping with someone (besides like STDs, or pregnancy, or a possible shattered reputation) is not knowing if you’re any good in bed. It’s terrifying to me that for as many guys as I’ve made fun of for being awful in the sack, guys could be saying the same thing about me. I mean, they’re not, but they could, right? RIGHT?!

Anyway, guys weighed in to let us know how not to suck in bed.

At least do something. Nobody likes it when you deadfish.


honesty. if you don’t tell us that you like or don’t like something we are never going to know, because most of us are fucking clueless


Stop clawing my back. I know I’m not that good.

-Siblings of TFM

Stop taking all the sheets. Oh, you mean sex? Don’t be so hesitant to take initiative, it takes two to tango *insert winking gif*


1. Don’t gouge. 2. Be more aware of your surroundings. I.e. don’t scream when someone else is home.


Just tell us straight up what gets you off. You don’t have to give me step-by-step instructions, but a little communication goes a long way.

-Alex “Boosh” Buscemi

When I was in Germany, I noticed a lot of the girls I got with there did this thing where they clenched their vagina to kind of pull me in as I was thrusting. I felt like I was being milked like a cow, and it was amazing. Of all the international girls I’ve slept with, Americans tend to be the most boring. Ditch the Cosmo and bone up on some Kama Sutra. Girls that turn out to know some exotic moves are often the difference between a one night stand and long-term GF material. Keep us coming back for more.


I like more expressive girls. She doesn’t need to howl and moan like a banshee haunting the moor, though I don’t hate that. But the girl clearly being into it (even if it’s a little fake, whatever, I’ve probably already done things to damage my pride just to get her into bed so by this point I could care less) is a big turn on for me. It’s not even an “ego” thing, I just think of it as more of a “fun” thing. “Hey, we’re all having a good time, hooray.” Plus I think it gets my dumb man brain more into it on a biological level and I perform a little better (at least I *believe* that’s what’s happening). Expressiveness, in whatever form that takes for the girl, is always extremely appreciated.

-Rob Fox

You can tell me where you want me to shoot, but this fucker’s never been boresighted so don’t get mad when I accidentally nail that poster next to your bed.


So, we were right all along. Communication is key.

Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at

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