Guys Tell All: What They Want From You In Bed


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Guys Tell All

One of my biggest fears in life is being a dud in the sack. Well, not me personally, because I’m a goddess, but probably some people have that fear. There’s so much confusion about what to actually do to make you stand out. What makes guys tick? How can you be absolutely bomb in bed? I asked guys what they want.

I think when it comes to what girls think guys want in bed, there’s a misguided belief that every dude wants porn sex: rough, passionless, and culminating in a wad shot straight to the face. That may be something a guy wants every so often, but, in reality, dudes need love, too. Guys want you to act like you’re into them in bed, not just into it.

Also, if a guy really, really, really wants to use your face as a landing strip (instead of your landing strip) on a consistent basis, there’s a decent chance he’s a Dennis Reynolds-level sociopath.

-Jared Borislow

Can I just say, “To be really attractive”? Because honest to God the more attractive you are the less I need from you. So if you look like a gremlin with scoliosis please have me busting loads through the drywall. And if you’re Taylor Swift, feel free to read your Kindle, I’ll be done in three minutes.

-Rob Fox

Just give me an extra pillow and enough room to throw my leg over the comforter and I’m fine with whatever.

-Will deFries

Different guys want different things. Some prefer a girl who’s going to take charge, be aggressive, and make her own moves. Others want a girl who’s going to be more submissive and let him dominate. A nice little mix somewhere in the middle is ideal if we’re talking about a realistic longterm relationship, though. Personally, I want a girl to beat me with a belt and call me a little bitch.

-Ross Bolen

Feed my ego…and yours too. We keep that shit in check all day long in our day-to-days, the bedroom is the place where we can put that sensibility away. I don’t care how you look in a mirror or stacked up to anyone else, and the same applies to myself, we’re here for each other.

-Jake Goldman

Just be an active participant. Do some of the work and at least pretend to be enthusiastic about your contribution.

-Dan Regester

This was better than I could have possibly hoped for.

To read last week’s Tell-All, click here.

Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at

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