Casual hookups are something we can get behind if that’s what a girl wants to do. The mystical boyfriends that some people are able to complain into existence eventually (even if it grosses you out now), becomes everyone’s goals. But it’s the in-between guy, the guy who’s less than a boyfriend, but more than a fling that drives girls insane. Nothing is worse than feeling a real connection with someone, than feeling like you played your cards right, than feeling like this is finally going to go somewhere, and then have it fizzle out, and never really understand why.
Is this a case by case basis? Or is there something we’re all just doing…wrong. Is there a reason that guys like you enough to spend time together (even sober!), get to know your friends, and get to know you on a deep emotional level, but they don’t like you enough to date you.
This is a tough one, but over-obsession with “making it legit.” Especially if it is in a quick time-frame. It shows a level of insecurity that will probably manifest itself in different ways later on.
You ended the chase too soon. It’s dumb, it’s not fair, but really half the fun is the pursuit and that cat and mouse game leading up to the magic. Don’t have sex with me on the first or second night. Show me that you can be an interesting human being with your clothes on first and you’ve got a much better shot at something that lasts.
She wasn’t the correct match to carry on my bloodline.
Bad timing. I had just gotten out of a relationship and didn’t want to jump right back into anything serious. I wanted time to myself — to date around, enjoy college, do whatever the hell I wanted, etc. I don’t understand how some people can hop from committed relationship to committed relationship in the blink of an eye. You’re essentially telling the world that you, by yourself, suck as a human being and are heavily reliant on others for your own happiness. That’s a shitty way to go about life.
She had a boyfriend when we started hooking up. I didn’t have a problem with it, but even after she broke up with him, I wouldn’t trust her enough to date her.
For me, it’s usually because the girl is trying too hard or I was never that interested from the beginning. It’s rare that I’ll let anything get very far at all without putting the fire out, so it never comes to that. If anything, I’ve been the one wondering that more of than my counterpart.
This is a weak answer and I will sound really arrogant but that hasn’t happened to me. BUT it’s almost entirely because of my history of very few, very loooong relationships. I’m batting 1.000 but only have a handful of plate appearances, and yes, I realize girls will be reading this and most won’t understand that analogy.
She was a little older than me, but more importantly we didn’t have much compatibility other than we both liked to get really drunk. After a few months of hooking up with this girl, who is easily one of the top three or four hottest girls I’ve ever been with, I decided I needed more than someone hot to get drunk with and bang. I was and still am disgusted with myself and the maturity of that decision. I want to make out with a 19 year old now just to redeem myself.
I’m finding myself shocked at how simple it is — how we’ve been told this very thing a hundred times, but we don’t listen. We’re trying too hard. We’re too available. We want it too bad. We say we “don’t want to play games,” but like it or not, by not participating, we’re losing. We need to keep them guessing and give them a reason to come back for more. Intrigue and mystery. Shit..
To read Guys Tell All: Biggest Turnoffs, click here.