Having Lots Of Sex Can Make You Look Up To Seven Years Younger

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Nice Move

Well that explains why my mother told me my highlights make me look like I’m 35.

Researcher Dr. David Weeks has spent the last ten years researching the sex lives of thousands of adults between the ages of 40 and 50, finding that those who had sex more frequently looked five to seven years younger. This held true in both men and women. Younger-looking people reported having sex at least three times per week, while older-looking people reported having sex two times per week or fewer. This explains so much, namely why I looked so much younger when I was eighteen, and why my father looks so much younger than my mother.

If you’re single a sicko like I am, your immediate question was “Does masturbating work?” Current research seems to suggest it does not:

“Intercourse causes the release of the human growth hormone, which makes skin look more elastic, among other biological reactions.”

Dammit. What about bad sex? Does bad sex work? Nope. No it doesn’t. Sexual satisfaction is “crucial” according to Weeks. And casual sex? That doesn’t work either:

“Casual sex would bring a lot of the detrimental things to staying youthful such as anxiety and the absence of security. Both those things are associated with a loss of youth.”

Having regular sex is also correlated with better health, better quality of life, and prolonged life, so essentially, you need to have found one guy who loves you to rock your world at least three times a week or else you’re going to look old, die young, and feel miserable. I’ve always been told that if you specify what you’re looking for in a guy, you won’t find it. Conversely, if you specify what you’re looking for in an age-defying cream, you’ll find exactly what you’re looking for, so while this whole “sex” thing sounds like a lot more fun than botox, a good plastic surgeon seems like the easier thing to find.

Addendum: it’s seriously never too early to start using anti-aging cream. I am 24 and I have wrinkles. They’re not very deep, and they’re not all over, but they’re there. My best friend swears her neck has significantly lost its elasticity. The key is prevention, girls, or else get ready to have a mommy makeover before you’ve reached motherhood. I’m sneaking anti-aging cream into my daughters’ beauty regimens before they’re even done using anti-acne creams, then applying to become mother of the year. It’s better than telling her to start having regular sex at 12, amirite?

[via Huffington Post]

Image via Buzz Feed

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Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co

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