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Heaven Is Officially A Place On Earth: Taco Bell Will Now Serve Alcohol

Taco Bell

After a night of pounding back shots, nothing says “you had a great time” quite like pulling up to Taco Bell. You slurr your order of three chalupas, two Doritos Locos Tacos, and cheesy fiesta potatoes at the poor cashier, then Snapchat your feast. As you sink into a cheesy, carb-filled, alcohol-induced heaven, you can’t help but think “this is perfect.”

And it was. Up until now, I didn’t think that Taco Bell could get better. Sure, the food is made with the same meat they put in dog food, and no, cheese is not actually that color in nature. But when you’re intoxicated and choosing between sex and carbs, you pick carbs every time. And Taco Bell? Taco Bell is the best cock block ever. Or it was. Until now. Because guess what? It just got better.

According to the Chicago Eater, Taco Bell will open its first ever location that serves alcohol this summer.

Management’s applied for a liquor license, which would make it the first Bell in the world to serve alcohol with Doritos Locos Tacos and other menu items. A Yum! Brands spokeswoman added that The Bell’s also planning a “completely new urban restaurant design” for the Wicker Park space.

Back in February there were rumblings that only the second U.S. Taco Co. would land in the Wicker Park space at 1439 N. Milwaukee Ave., but a Yum! Brands rep shot that rumor down at the time, saying the Wicker Park restaurant would be a normal Taco Bell. But booze and this “completely new design” are anything but normal. The rep wouldn’t offer up anymore details at this time.

Stay tuned—the restaurant is slated to open sometime this summer.

Our whole drunk eating game is about to change. So long, going out to bars just to have an excuse to inhale shitty food. Now we can go to Taco Bell, toss back a few [insert whatever cheap alcohol they decide to serve], and chow down on stale chips and artificially enhanced sour cream. I hope that if the Wicker Park location succeeds, they’ll expand this idea everywhere and we can all live happily ever after. And to all of you lucky people living in Chicago: don’t eff this up. The whole world is counting on you.

[via Chicago Eater]

Image via Rob Wilson / Shutterstock.com

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Rachel Varina

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.

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