1. Michelle Jenneke, Australia
Michelle got a lot of media attention in 2012 for her pre-race warm-up dance, and rightfully so. Why are Australians so much better than us at literally everything? She races in the 100m hurdles and has a personal best of 12.82 in the event. She’s also annoyingly pretty and isn’t afraid to post pictures of her washboard abs on Instagram.
2. Catalina Ponor, Romania
Aside from having arguably one of the sexiest possible female names, this chick has the bone structure of a Greek goddess. More importantly, Catalina was the only Romanian who qualified for the Olympics this year. Which means that she’s all by herself, repping her country solo. She has also retired twice, but keeps coming back because she finds the “lure of competition irresistible.” I find her irresistible, no shame.
3. Doaa Elghobashy, Egypt
Doaa made her Olympic debut Sunday night, representing Egypt as a member of the nation’s beach volleyball team. She’s a badass 19-year-old who wears a hijab, leggings, and a long-sleeved jersey across from bikini-clad competitors. I think that’s pretty dope, and it’s so awesome to see such a wide array of diversity on the same court. After all, isn’t that what the Olympics are about?
4. Katie Ledecky, United States
Katie demolished her own world record Saturday, winning the 400m freestyle gold metal and a spot in pretty much every red-blooded American’s heart. She has set twelve world records since the 2012 London Olympics and is one of only two women who have finished the 400m race in under four minutes. God, I love this country.
5. Amber Hill, England
Amber is an English sport shooter who makes me feel terrible about my inability to hold a gun without weeping uncontrollably and ending up with a bruised shoulder. She’s been shooting since she was ten and was selected for England’s senior women’s team by the time she was twelve. She also made history by becoming the sport’s youngest ever winner at the ISSF World Cup series. This chick makes me feel seriously unaccomplished, but you best believe I’m going to tune in to watch her shoot on Friday.
6. Shelina Zadorsky, Canada
Shelina is a Universiry of Michican alum who plays for Canada’s women’s nations soccer team as a defender. She has previously played for an Australian league club and Swedish top-division club. I don’t know how any of that works, but I do know that this lady is pretty badass. She already got a red card and her Instagram game is pretty legit. Definitely worth a follow.
7. Sopita Tanasan, Thailand
Who says girls can’t lift? No one, because it’s 2016 and anyone dumb enough to think that runs the risk of Sopita beating them to a bloody pulp. She already took home a gold metal in the women’s 48kg (106 lbs) weight class, lifting 202.8 pounds and following that with a clean and jerk of 238.1 pounds. That’s a whopping total of 440.9 pounds. And I can’t even snag all of my grocery bags in one trip.
8. Mónica Puig, Puerto Rico
Monica has won over six single titles on the ITF circuit, as well as another on the WTA tour. She’s ranked 36th in the world but first in our hearts. Homegirl could turn a nun lesbo with that smile. She lowkey makes me want to dye my hair blonde and work on my tan. She speaks fluent English and Spanish and enjoys creative writing in her free time. Like she isn’t cool enough already.
9. Ellen Hoog, Netherlands
Ellen has helped the Netherland’s women’s national field hockey team win Olympic gold twice. She’s pushing 31 but doesn’t look a day over 22. She’s also a member of the Amsterdamsche Hockey and Bandy Club. Oh, and she was 2005’s Eurpean Champion in Dublin and won the Champoins Trophy in Canberra. Same, Ellen. Same.
10. Alex Morgan, United States
I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t include more than one American. Alex is an Olympic gold medalist and FIFA Women’s World Cup Champion. She graduated early from the University of California, Berkeley, where she was a starting forward on the women’s soccer team. She was drafted number one overall in 2011 and was the youngest player on the national team at the 2011 FIFA Women’s World Cup. She also poses for Sports Illustrated and could probably be a model if she wasn’t busy kicking ass and taking names.
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Lucky Jo
Lucky Jo is a former and current TSM writer who likes her men how she likes her coffee: way too hot and unforgivably bitter. She graduated from the University of Missouri in 2016, proving that C's do in fact get degrees. She now spends her days working for a social media marketing agency, hiking with her dachshund, and trying to bring back the scrunchie. Hate mail and goat memes can be sent to [email protected].
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