Here Are 10 Olympic Girl Crushes You Should Have Right Now


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1. Michelle Jenneke, Australia

Michelle got a lot of media attention in 2012 for her pre-race warm-up dance, and rightfully so. Why are Australians so much better than us at literally everything? She races in the 100m hurdles and has a personal best of 12.82 in the event. She’s also annoyingly pretty and isn’t afraid to post pictures of her washboard abs on Instagram.

Enjoying some sun at the track in the Sunshine Coast today ☀️

A photo posted by Michelle Jenneke (@mjenneke93) on

2. Catalina Ponor, Romania

Aside from having arguably one of the sexiest possible female names, this chick has the bone structure of a Greek goddess. More importantly, Catalina was the only Romanian who qualified for the Olympics this year. Which means that she’s all by herself, repping her country solo. She has also retired twice, but keeps coming back because she finds the “lure of competition irresistible.” I find her irresistible, no shame.


A photo posted by Catalina Ponor Official (@catalina_ponor) on

3. Doaa Elghobashy, Egypt

Doaa made her Olympic debut Sunday night, representing Egypt as a member of the nation’s beach volleyball team. She’s a badass 19-year-old who wears a hijab, leggings, and a long-sleeved jersey across from bikini-clad competitors. I think that’s pretty dope, and it’s so awesome to see such a wide array of diversity on the same court. After all, isn’t that what the Olympics are about?

4. Katie Ledecky, United States

Katie demolished her own world record Saturday, winning the 400m freestyle gold metal and a spot in pretty much every red-blooded American’s heart. She has set twelve world records since the 2012 London Olympics and is one of only two women who have finished the 400m race in under four minutes. God, I love this country.

5. Amber Hill, England

Amber is an English sport shooter who makes me feel terrible about my inability to hold a gun without weeping uncontrollably and ending up with a bruised shoulder. She’s been shooting since she was ten and was selected for England’s senior women’s team by the time she was twelve. She also made history by becoming the sport’s youngest ever winner at the ISSF World Cup series. This chick makes me feel seriously unaccomplished, but you best believe I’m going to tune in to watch her shoot on Friday.

6. Shelina Zadorsky, Canada

Shelina is a Universiry of Michican alum who plays for Canada’s women’s nations soccer team as a defender. She has previously played for an Australian league club and Swedish top-division club. I don’t know how any of that works, but I do know that this lady is pretty badass. She already got a red card and her Instagram game is pretty legit. Definitely worth a follow.

Two more days @washingtonspirit vs Orlando in front of our sold out crowd!

A photo posted by Shelina Zadorsky (@shelinaz) on

Work work work work work

A photo posted by Shelina Zadorsky (@shelinaz) on

@h_lulu thank you for bringing this bundle of joy to camp #Mowgli

A photo posted by Shelina Zadorsky (@shelinaz) on

7. Sopita Tanasan, Thailand

Who says girls can’t lift? No one, because it’s 2016 and anyone dumb enough to think that runs the risk of Sopita beating them to a bloody pulp. She already took home a gold metal in the women’s 48kg (106 lbs) weight class, lifting 202.8 pounds and following that with a clean and jerk of 238.1 pounds. That’s a whopping total of 440.9 pounds. And I can’t even snag all of my grocery bags in one trip.

8. Mónica Puig, Puerto Rico

Monica has won over six single titles on the ITF circuit, as well as another on the WTA tour. She’s ranked 36th in the world but first in our hearts. Homegirl could turn a nun lesbo with that smile. She lowkey makes me want to dye my hair blonde and work on my tan. She speaks fluent English and Spanish and enjoys creative writing in her free time. Like she isn’t cool enough already.

Thank you Eastbourne for an unforgettable week! Now its time for @wimbledon !! 🎾🌱🇬🇧

A photo posted by Monica Puig (@monicaace93) on


A photo posted by Monica Puig (@monicaace93) on

9. Ellen Hoog, Netherlands

Ellen has helped the Netherland’s women’s national field hockey team win Olympic gold twice. She’s pushing 31 but doesn’t look a day over 22. She’s also a member of the Amsterdamsche Hockey and Bandy Club. Oh, and she was 2005’s Eurpean Champion in Dublin and won the Champoins Trophy in Canberra. Same, Ellen. Same.

Tropisch koffietje #rustdag #roadtorio

A photo posted by Ellen Hoog (@ellen_hoog) on

My 3rd Olympics coming up! So proud to be part of a great national team again 🎉

A photo posted by Ellen Hoog (@ellen_hoog) on

10. Alex Morgan, United States

I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t include more than one American. Alex is an Olympic gold medalist and FIFA Women’s World Cup Champion. She graduated early from the University of California, Berkeley, where she was a starting forward on the women’s soccer team. She was drafted number one overall in 2011 and was the youngest player on the national team at the 2011 FIFA Women’s World Cup. She also poses for Sports Illustrated and could probably be a model if she wasn’t busy kicking ass and taking names.

Let's do this!! #teamusa

A photo posted by Alex Morgan (@alexmorgan13) on


A photo posted by Alex Morgan (@alexmorgan13) on

Lucky Jo is much less medicated than her mother and sister, and she tends to think that’s a good thing. She's the newest full-time addition to the Grandex office, which is probably why they gave her the shittiest desk. In her free time she enjoys scaring small children, judging her peers, and condescendingly talking to GDIs at Starbucks. Follow her on twitter for cat memes and complaints. Email her at

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