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How To Convince A Guy You’re Not A Slut, Even If You Kind Of Are

How To Convince A Guy You're Not A Slut, Even If You Are

My whole life, I kind of didn’t really “know” about the double standard. Like I knew it was something our mothers and grandmothers dealt with, but for the most part, I thought women being made to feel guilty about their sex lives was in the past. At some point, I realized that I was wrong. The double standard is alive and well and that sucks.

I believe, wholeheartedly, that you should do whatever you want with whomever you want, and you shouldn’t be ashamed of it. But I also know that some people are ashamed of it. Some people want to keep their business to themselves, or at the very least they don’t want their guy to know just how adventurous they are…you know, sexually. So they do and say the same shit everyone else does. “I’ve NEVER done this before.”

Yes. You have. Let the record show that I TRULY don’t think it matters, BUT…if you’re trying to trick some dudes, you need to show him, not tell him, that you’ve never done this.

1. Go Craziest Off Campus
If you want to have a one-night stand, or flash your titties at a bar, or make out with ten guys in one night, you should do it. And if you’re not embarrassed by it, then do it in plain view. If, however, you’re a wild card, but want people to think you’re a fragile queen, you can’t do it at your own school. Have that one-night stand when you’re visiting a high school friend at a campus five hours away from your own. Make out with ten guys on spring break where nobody knows you. Flash your tits on a special night out in the next town over. Have as much fun as you want where no one knows your name, and whatshisname will never know of your antics.

2. Be Smart About Selecting Your “Number.”
I generally abide by the old adage “Nothing good ever fucking happens from telling some dude your number.” Or something like that. But sometimes curiosities get the best of you. And sometimes, it feels like it’s “worse” to say nothing than it is to just fess up. And of course by “fess up,” I mean tell him a lie. Everyone lies, but the important thing is to make your lie believable.

You can’t tell a guy that you’ve only slept with two other people who you were in love with when you’re doing the nasty on the second date — and I use the term “date” loosely. Basically, things need to be somewhat proportionate. If you have several proper dates and have waited a month and half to do it, you can say you’ve slept with three other people (making him your fourth). If you met him five hours ago, and he’s naked in your bed, then he’s your seventh. No need to go higher than seven, ever. The longer you wait to have sex with a guy, the lower the number you can get away with.

3. Make Him Come To Your House
The walk of shame is a naturally degrading act, even if you were a perfect lady. You look like a hobo, and being seen in last night’s makeup and man pants doesn’t exactly say, “We just made out. Okay, I let him finger me, but I swear, that’s it!” Do not do the walk of shame. Ever. The simple way to avoid this is to make him come to you. PLUS, and this is important, him coming to you makes him feel like he has to work for it. You’re not just throwing yourself at him. You could take him or leave him. If he wants you, he has to prove it. You don’t fucking travel for sex like a hooker. Got it?

4. Condom Stash
I believe in safety, 100%. If he’s gonna tap it, he’s gotta wrap it. But so often, guys don’t carry condoms, because frankly, it’s assumptive and kind of douchey. And if you’re back at your house, which you are if you’re following my rules, you need to have your own supply. But you know what’s slutty? Having condoms in your bedside drawer. What you need to do instead is keep your condoms in your roommate’s bedside drawer (or a common area). That way, when he asks if you have a condom, you’re not like “Sure! What flavor?” Instead, you’re all “Shit. No, I don’t have any. Let me check if my roommate does. She’s the slut! Not me!” See? Brilliant.

5. Get The Stick Out Of Your Ass
Or maybe…you just want to wake up and realize you can do whatever the fuck you want, and rules about trickery, however effective, are unnecessary if the guy is worth it.

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