How To Facetune Like A Pro


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How To Facetune Like A Pro

Facetune has the ability to change your life for the better. You can edit not only your pictures, but the way your followers see you. But you must use your powers for good, not evil. There is a particular formula to this art form, and if properly executed, you will attain the naturally flawless look we all dream of.

The Picture
While Facetune is a divine intervention, it can’t change the fact your picture looks like it was taken with a toaster. The edits will look super funky if the picture is pixelated or fuzzy. If your camera sucks, get your friend with the sugar daddy and brand new iPhone 6S to take the picture and send it to you.

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White/Red Eye
First and foremost, get rid of that demonic look in your eyes. There is a huge difference between white eye and red eye, so get to know it. Zoom into your face before trying to size the dot to your pupils. In rare cases, there is a strange mixture of both, so try white eye first, and if that doesn’t work, try red eye overtop of it.

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Patch is a girl’s best friend and a pimple’s worst enemy. Size the patch directly over the blemish and choose the replacement on a part of your face that is not only clear, but the same color as where the zit is. The only thing more noticeable than a zit is an obvious circle that is a different color.

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This is where many masterpieces turn into monstrosities. Zoom into your face and avoid your eyebrows, eyes, and sides of your nose. Go over the same place no more than three times. This is helpful for all the Sweaty Betties out there, like myself, who break a sweat after a flight of steps. Leave a hint of shine on your face so you still look human.
PRO TIP: Do this on your arms and legs for an all-over airbrushed look.

Facetune 5

The best filter is no filter, but unless you have some crazy expensive camera, that’s not going to be possible. So the second best filter is a natural filter. Beige 1 and 2 are always go-tos. Tawny is my favorite. It’s a little tan without too much fakeness. Turn down the filter so it gives you a sun kissed look.

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One or two swipes will do the trick. Too many and it looks like your teeth are radioactive. Make sure you don’t get the skin around your mouth, otherwise it’ll look like you just gave a ghost a boo job (Hehe, get it? Instead of blow job?).
PRO TIP: Swipe over your eyes to brighten them up.

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Ugh. This is the shit that gets under my skin.This tool should only be used for fine tuning. Very very fine tuning. Like if you squished your arm against you a little too hard or you want to get rid of your period bloat. This is not the time to trim yourself into a human Barbie while warping the entire background in the process. Give your flat ass a booty pop with refine, but don’t use reshape to draw in your waistline. Use tiny little strokes (that’s what she said). We all know what you look like in real life, so resist the urge to force comments like “OMG skinny minny!!” Why is that even a compliment anyway?

Facetune 9

The Final Product
Congratulations on putting your best social media foot forward. Bask in the glory and the likes, and even set this picture as your lock screen background as a reminder of how GD beautiful you are.

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There you have it, folks. Go forth and Facetune flawlessly.

A born and raised Jersey girl, she can always be found covered in sand and pizza sauce. Her personal brand is "that girl." She prefers wine in bottles because she thinks outside of the box. Send fan mail to or by smoke signal.

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