How To Fail At Tinder: Dress Your Dog As Antoin Dodson

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Nice Move

For those of you who haven’t yet discovered this technological wonder, Tinder is a dating app that matches you with members of the opposite gender based on location. You judge each other based on looks, meaning you get to spend hours rejecting people, and then feel giddy when you find out that 99% of the guys you “swiped right” think you’re pretty. It’s a win-win. However, sometimes we come across Tinder profiles that don’t seem quite right. Here are 20 of this week’s Tinder fails.

Hide yo kids, hide yo wife, and definitely hide yoself from this Tinder match.
Hide yo kids, hide yo wife, and definitely hide yoself from this Tinder match.

I know how to respect a woman
“I know how to respect a woman.”

You're aging really well. Like, REALLY well.
You’re aging really well. Like, REALLY well.

And you're not aging very well at ALL.
And you’re not aging very well at ALL.

See also- Are you wearing space pants? Because your ass is out of this world.
See also: “Are you wearing space pants? Because your ass is out of this world.”

Want to be my precious?
Want to be my precious?

Only if it's a little bit.
Only if it’s a little bit.

Save a horse, ride a Tinder match.
Save a horse, ride a man dressed up like one.

Everything's better down where it's wetter, take it from me.
“Everything’s better down where it’s wetter, take it from me.”

I'd let you slide into third.
I’d let you slide into third.

RecruitmentChairTSM (@TheRecruitChair) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move. This current grad student and ex-sorority girl survives solely on Diet Coke and the tears of the pledges she personally victimized. She's a Monica, a Marnie, a Miranda, and a Regina. Her favorite hobbies include drinking $14 bottles of wine and binge-watching season 2 of Grey's Anatomy until she cries. You can send her annoying e-mails at RecruitChairTSM@gmail.com

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