The two of you have been going at it for a few months, and you have decided to go steady. You both have expressed your feelings to each other, you have texted it to your group chat, and now it is time to share it with your followers. What message are you trying to portray? What angle do you want to go at it? You want it to be casual, but committed. Cute, but not cheesy. Romantic, but not repulsive. This announcement is just as important as your wedding announcement. First comes Instagram, then comes a Facebook relationship change, then comes you with a baby carriage. In a society where relationships are sparse, it is reasonable to alert the (social) media. Here are some guidelines on how to get the message across, and of course, the most likes.
The pose must be somewhere between friendly and fiancé. Snuggle up next to him. The more acute the angle of your bodies make, the more a-cute the picture will be. Be sure to be on your good side. Have you arm around his back and his around yours so he has the option of putting his hand on your ass. Put your front hand on his lower abs. This is a signal to other girls that says “You see how close my hand is to his balls? That’s because they are mine. So back off.” Keep your arm floating above your side so your upper arm doesn’t resemble a Christmas ham. Smile with a little extra twinkle in your eyes, like the thought of just being next to him makes you even more beautiful inside and out. If you choose to opt for other facial poses besides a smile, make sure the other person still smiles. One kissing the other on the cheek, one looking at the other. Never the same time. That’s way too early and way too aggressive, and definitely not worth losing followers and friends over.
The more effortless, the better. FaceTune that giant zit on your face, whiten your teeth and eyes, and then leave it. You two are so flawless that you don’t even need a filter. Trust.
Locations should be used ONLY when the location is actually interesting or relevant to the picture. But if you feel so compelled to add one, please make it funny at least. Make it where you met or where the two of you frequent. Just don’t make it a custom location that functions as a second caption. Pick one caption and commit to it.
The caption is your chance to brand your relationship. What is it that makes you “you?” You can include an inside joke that the two of you have. Maybe a joke about how you met. If you have nicknames for each other, use them only if the general public will not scream-vomit while reading it. You may be tempted to use song lyrics, but unless they are chill rap lyrics, so help me God I will hunt you down. Sarcasm may be used if it is not cliché. “He’s ok,” “I like him sometimes,” and “Some random guy” are completely overdone. Make it short and sweet with a maximum of three emojis, each different from the other.
May you be showered in love and likes..
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