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I Confidently Send Nudes Because I Know They’re Not Good Enough To Get Leaked

I Confidently Send Nudes Because I Know They're Not Good Enough To Get Leaked

Since cavemen have been able to write on walls, the human body has been documented. Some of the greatest pieces of art are the artist’s interpretation of the naked figure, women more specifically. As technology progresses, it has become easier and easier to share nudies, and with Snapchat? Fuhgeddaboudit. Sexy snaps are being shot off every second. Dick pics are hitting DMs on the daily. Tits are being texted in a timely fashion. But there is a huge stigma against sending nudes. They’re skanky, they’re risky, they’re unprofessional to send to your boss. Many worry that any nudes that they send will be leaked somehow for the world to see. Your future kids could be able to Google your gooch. Any girl who dates one of your exes could send that shit into a group chat to tear you apart to make herself feel better. So who is sending all of these frisky photos? I am.

But Ali, you ask yourself, you listed plenty of reasons why you shouldn’t send nudes. Don’t you know that the internet is forever? Well, sweet, simple reader, yes. I do know the internet is forever. My job is on the internet. I kind of get the concept. Also, don’t interrupt me while I’m making an important point. Anywhoozle, back to what I was saying.

I send nudes with absolute conviction. They are empowering. Nudes say “this is what I’m working with, take it or leave it!” I go on with my day with an extra pep in my step. The thought of them being leaked never crosses my mind. I firmly believe it isn’t in the realm of possibilities for me to get wrapped up in some sort of scandal. Who do I think I am? Kimmy K? There is nothing interesting about a blogger sending her bits to boys on Bumble. I’m just a regular girl doing regular girl things. I’m not going to end up being a million dollar mogul and bring my family along. Plus, I don’t have any sisters, so that makes it even more difficult.

Similarly, there is really nothing special about my nudes. They’re just “meh.” By no means are they disappointing. I’ve seen ANTM, so I know my angles and lighting pretty well. But they’re nothing you’re going to want to take home to mom. It’s like an anatomy textbook. You look and it and you’re like “yep, those are boobs.” If you are in the right mood maybe it could get you a little riled up, but for the most part, they’re just a fun little token of my friendship. I send them more for myself than I do for the person who is receiving them. If I feel like I look good, I’m gonna letchu know. And see for yourself. No one is screenshotting them or even replaying them to show the person closest to them. They are just appreciating them for the allotted time that I send them (usually seven seconds, long enough to get a good look, but not good enough to start picking out flaws). My nudes are right where they should be: floating in the database of all saved Snapchats quietly and unnoticed. There’s really nothing to worry about.

I never put my face in them though. I’m not an idiot.

Image via Shutterstock

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Ali Hin

A born and raised Jersey girl, she can always be found covered in sand and pizza sauce. Her personal brand is "that girl." She prefers wine in bottles because she thinks outside of the box. Send fan mail to sratbroTSM@gmail.com or by smoke signal.

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