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I Don’t Care If It’s Girls Night, You’re A Bad Friend For Cock Blocking

Girls Night

Girls night, in theory, is a great idea. But a lot like communism, it kind of sucks in practice. The thing is, in college pretty much every single night is girls night. Especially if you live in your sorority house or on a walking campus. When all of your roommates are your best friends, all your classes are filled with you best friends, and literally every second of your life is taken up by your best friends, sometimes “girls night” seems like overkill. But hey, maybe I’m just pessimistic.

I admit that sometimes, girls nights can be fun in the beginning. Staying in to watch TV, drink wine, and paint your nails with your girlfriends sounds like a typical Tuesday, but if you want to add some special meaning to it, be my guest. The problem I have with girls night is the going out aspect.

Going out with your girls is amazing when it’s happy hour, dinner, and getting ready together. However, once that “we’re just out with our friends” mentality lingers into the actual bars or clubs, that’s where I have a problem. Because my natural reaction to being out is to talk to everyone, dance with cute boys, and probably call up someone reliable on my roster. Which, personally, I see nothing wrong with.

But then there’s that one girl who insists on the attention staying within the group. She’ll be rude to the guy you’re flirting with, she’ll yell at you for being a slut, and you might or might not cry about how much you hate her later on. If you’re the girl that insists on cock-blocking your friends on a night out, you’re a bad friend.

There are only a few specific times when this type of Benedict Arnold behavior is acceptable. The first is when a friend just recently went through a breakup and all forces of the whole group should be put into being a good wingwoman to get her back on the wagon, rather than for selfish reasons. The second is if the guy in question is the love of another girl in the squad’s life. That’s it.

Anything else is just not okay. I don’t need to hear the tired excuse that “we need to hang out more.” Again, go to happy hour, get dinner, and get ready together. If multiple hours of undivided friend time isn’t enough, then that’s a deeper issue.

Other than that, the only true reason you should give a fuck if your friend is going home with a guy is because you’re jealous. A classic case of “if Jenny can’t get a boy, then no one else can.” Of course, no girl ever admits to being jealous and insecure, but your actions speak louder than words. By either insisting that all attention stay on you, or by immediately calling dibs on literally every attractive guy who walks into the bar, you are declaring to your friends that you, in fact, suck.

I get it can be annoying if your friend is all boys all the time, but perspective is important here. If she spent all day with you, or at least the beginning of night, then why do you care where she ends up? She probably had a hard day of classes and just wanted to hang out with friends and catch a D. Guaranteed she’ll be around tomorrow morning to grab brunch in her brand new, hard-earned shack shirt.

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Blue-eyed-blondie

Blondie excels at being an underachiever. She is currently trying to add an extra year onto her undergrad so she can continue to down $7 bottles of wine in an environment that encourages her erratic behavior. After graduation, she has big plans to flunk out of a prestigious law school. Email her compliments and Netflix suggestions at blue.eyed.blondie.tsm@gmail.com EDIT** if you suggest Black Mirror she's already seen it. So stop suggesting it. Seriously. Please stop suggesting it.

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